Reason Number 742 Why Dad is More Fun Than Mom....

He lets them get in the kitchen with him and he doesn't yell like I do... on this night they made pizza.

It was a big hit! And only three points for a piece for me!

Speaking of Weight Watchers... I finally got through my plateau!

I have been stuck at the same weight pretty much for three weeks... so this week I got serious.

I only used ten weekly points and I cut out my usual ice cream bars entirely. I knew I wasn't doing myself any favors by eating sweets in the evening. So I decided to starve my bad habit and it worked!

I lost 4.8 pounds this week! I finally got past my 20 pounds down mark and it feels great! Just over 6 pounds to go to my 10% off goal! Feeling ready to go for it now.

Don't worry... I am fairly sure he didn't drool on it. And if he did we cooked the germs off right?

I don't know why I didn't think to get a picture of the finished product... probably because we were too busy eating it! But this last one is better in my humble opinion... here they are patiently and lovingly waiting for the fruits of their labor... I love them...

Mommy @ Weight Watchers

So maybe you have noticed the side bar... ooorrrr maybe I'm the only one who cares about the number on my scale.

Either way. This is my place and I'm gonna talk about it.

Mostly here I talk about my kids, but the way I see it this involves them since they did this to me...

that's right, they put the chocolate in my mouth and held a gun to my head.

Ok fine. I did this to me. AGAIN. 

Let's rewind, pre- Vivian, but post- Daniel, I signed up for Weight Watchers. 

I was miserable with myself after three babies in four years. I needed to change for them and for me.

So I did. Something just clicked and I did.

For the first time in my life I had found what worked for me.... it was helping me to lose the weight and make better choices.

Fast forward to May of 2010, I have lost 40 pounds! I have 40 more to go to get to my ideal weight but I was so happy, I felt wonderful. So happy in fact that I had kind of stalled out. 

What can I say.... when I'm happy I eat. I had been gaining and losing the same five pounds for a few months but I was determined that as soon as we were done celebrating our five year anniversary I was going to get back on track.

It was a beautiful romantic weekend.

Kids at Gram's for two nights, 

Candlelit dinner in the city. Skyline view at sunset. 

Roses, jewelery, breakfast in bed!

An amazing memory.... and it even came with a souvenir!

Just allow nine months for pain and suffering....

 

So of course all thoughts of "goal weight" went out the window.

At first I thought I'd be fine because for the first three months I don't want to even think about food.

But I forgot about the last six months.... which for me are full of cravings.

I gained back all the forty I had lost.

  This is me on the morning of Vivian's birth...

And this is me a few hours later after my first epidural free experience with childbirth...

gee this photo brings back memories. 

Fun people... let me tell you.

I am not one of those women... you know?

The ones wearing makeup in the first picture, hair brushed, smiling.... 

we really are just lucky I'm not still screaming at anyone who can hear me.

But it was all worth it... especially once they cleaned all that goop off her and made her cute....

Anyway, the look on my face in that picture is very much symbolic of the way I have felt for these last four  months since her birth.

"What day is it? ...why these children all screaming again? ....Where is my coffee?"

So it has taken me awhile to get back on the weight loss train... but our recent trip to the beach helped a lot. Being around a bunch of skinny people in bikini's will do that I guess.

The shirt I am wearing this this picture was big on me last summer even when I was pregnant with Vivian... now its way tight.

This is a horrible picture but it gives you an idea...

So here we go again I guess.... I want to get back to where I was first of all. So my first goal is to get from 270 (Yikes!) down to 227... because the lowest number I saw before getting pregnant with Vivi was 228. I am down 8 pounds as of right now, I am four weeks in so I am right on track losing just about two pounds a week!

My long term goal though is to MAINTAIN! I don't enjoy having to lose weight I have already lost once! Its very annoying to lose and gain constantly... so I want to get "there"... whatever number feels good. And then stay there. If this means I have to count points forever then so be it.

If you want to read about my last bout with the scale... or your really bored.... you can go here.

And if you know of any good weight loss blogs or have a story yourself share it and keep me motivated!

We are hoping to head back to the beach again next summer, and when my feet touch that sand I want to be a more confident, healthier, happier me. I want to be stronger, have more stamina, and be a better example to my kids and husband, cause you know whatever I am eating they are too!

Fat Friday

Lost again this week!

My Stats:
Starting weight: 265.6

Lost this week: -2.0 pounds

Lost so far: -36.4

Current weight: 229.2

One more pound and I'm back to my lowest weight... i was 228 even on January 14th.

Its frustrating that I was stuck (mentally and physically) for so long.

But I'm happy to be back where I was.

And when I get to 225 I'll get my 7th "Five Pound Star"!!!

And I'll have lost more than forty pounds.

Its not easy but its worth it.

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up" ~ Unknown

Fat Friday..., sucess is sweet.

I almost forgot it was Friday...

Ready?

My Stats:

Starting Weight: 265.6

Lost this Week: -5.2

Lost Total: 34.4

Current Weight: 231.2

Yay!!! I'm not where I was but I'm back in the right direction...

I thought I might have a big loss this week since I had a big gain and was basically totally off the plan for over a month... but five pounds was bigger than I dared to dream!

And you know what... I didn't feel deprived.

I went out to eat.

I had some kind of Chocolate or treat EVERY DAY!

I had Ice cream cake, and birthday cake.

I even had a 17 point meal at Houlihan's 

Delicious!

And I worked out too. 

four times!

I really want this again...

Really really really want it.

And I'm going to do it... 

I almost can't wait to weigh in next week.. I'm not expecting another big loss.

But I know that I can and will do this again for the first time in a long time, 

And that feels better than words can say.

Fat Friday... Failure and Forever.

I have just looked back over my "Fat Friday" entries.

I only went back three but I didn't find the last time I weighed-in.

I've stepped on my mom's scale at her house but I haven't been to a meeting in a while.

Life, illness, car's breaking down... all excuses when you get down to it... I should have tried harder.

I thought I was maintaining, maybe I gained a pound or two.

I wasn't counting points, not exercising either.

And slowly but surely over the last 20 days or so I have gone back to my old habits...

they die hard you know.

My Stats:

Starting Weight: 265.6

Lowest Weight: 228

Gained Back: +7.2

Current Weight: 236.4

Yes you read that right.... Gained Seven Pounds.

Its not easy to write this.

I usually weigh-in at my Thursday morning meeting, but this week I went on Wednesday because I knew once again Thursday wouldn't work and I was getting tired of the excuses... 

I knew I had gained, 

I knew I needed the wake up call, 

I knew I needed to get back on track.

 

 I just didn't think I had gained so much.

In retrospect I can see exactly what I did to get me here.

So since Wednesday I've been trying to decided what i would say here, and last night Tom gave me a pep talk that was my answer.

It was not rosy or happy or upbeat.

It was not what you generally hear from people who are losing weight.

He said its "forever." 

What i should learn from this is that I can't ever do what I was doing, I can't ever go back to that.

Its one day, 

one week, 

one pound at a time.

Its doing it for the rest of my life so I don't ever end up that miserably overweight again.

It's not "I'm on my diet", 

It's "I'm not that person anymore."

I have been back on the plan since I left weigh-in!

I am struggling a bit but I feel better already. All that junk food was making me feel sluggish and yucky...

that is such a mystery to me, that I crave things I know will make me feel "blah"

I am making plans to get to my meeting every week from now on, lining up babysitters.

I am keeping good food in the house and planning ahead.

I'm watching biggest loser...motivation.... I love Bob.

I'm mowing the grass again (which is so so much easier than this time last year!)

I'm praying about this like  I did when I first began.

My first week I only lost 1.6, 

I was very disappointed... but I didn't give in and give up like I so often do.

and the next week I lost 4 pounds, and look how far I've come! 

Little by little, for the rest of my life I will do this.

I'm beginning again,  

I'm going back to the person I was when I started this so that.....

 I never go back to the person I was when I started this.

Fat Friday

This time I didn't make it to weigh-in because I am sick....

at least its a nice change of pace huh?

Oh well.

Never surrender right?

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.

~Abraham Lincoln

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.

~George Edward Woodberry

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm

~Winston Churchill

Fat Friday....on Thursday??

Once again I have failed to make it to my meeting.

Once again I have an excuse.

All three of my kids have a stomach bug.

 I won't go into details... it would be very icky...

If you are feeling a deep sense of pity for me right now, that is normal and appropriate.

I'm going to start a charity project for you to donate to if you feel so inclined.

I'm calling it "Send mama to the Bahama's!"

There will be cute posters with my children's desperate, pleading adorable faces.

 In the back round of the shot you will see me looking disheveled, wearing stained gym clothes, and lying face down on the couch. 

I'm OK... just resting...

Won't you please think of the children?

I will be such a better mother once I've read a few books, gotten some sun, and spent a few days in the spa.

Not sold?

Ah well... it was worth a try.

Fat Friday... barely

So I didn't weigh-in yesterday... I know ... I know...

I will now provide you with the following list of excuses so I can feel justified in my choice...

Reasons I did not go to my WW meeting: 

1. Tom had some awful stomach bug on Wednesday so I spent all day trying to take care of him, while keeping the kids quiet so he could sleep.
2. Because of aforementioned sudden illness I was woken up at five am.... and then again at six am for a bed wetting incident.... and then again at seven am for a bottle.... so in total on Wednesday night I got maybe four hours of sleep.
3. On Wednesday morning I had to take the kids on an unplanned four hour morning outing... Daddy was sick and sleepy and needed quiet... so rather than kill myself trying to accomplish the impossible task of keeping three young kids quiet I headed for Pappy's house.
4. My Dad could only handle us for so long and with another hour to kill before nap timeI had to take the three of them to the playground by myself.... exhausting is the only word that comes to mind.
5. My Mom (who was sadly working on Wednesday) had appointments all morning on Thursday...during my meeting. Therefore I would have had to take the kids with me just to weigh-in. We would not even begin to try to stay because even if I could keep all three of them quiet I wouldn't hear a thing anyone else was saying.

 So I choose sleep and yoga pants over dragging three kids out in the rain again.....

Thank you if you actually read all that and felt any measure of sympathy for me... Oh well, such is the life of a Mommy. On to Plan B!!!

Instead of my meeting I decided to embark on an exercise in re commitment. I went all around my kitchen and marked the points value on every package of food I could that I might ever be interested in eating.
And then I read a bunch of success stories on the WW site.... and then I caught up on the Biggest Loser.

And so far so good... I am motivated!!! Now i am off to count my points!!! 

Fat Friday.... have you ever seen the movie "Groundhog Day"?

I'm not even gonna bother with the stats this week... just refer to last week if you want to see because I stayed the same.

I am neither discouraged or motivated. I guess i just feel like I wish I could hurry up and get to my goal already!

Maintaining my weight seems easy.... I wish I was there already!!!

I need a serious shot of motivation, what was i doing this for again? What was it that helped me lose so much weight so quickly before the holiday's?

• I felt weak and frail after having Daniel. There were some complications and I was in bed a lot for about two weeks. I never wanted to feel that weak again.
• I couldn't find any clothes I liked, even if I liked the outfit in theory.. putting it on was a reality check that nothing looked good on me.
•  I couldn't keep up with Tommy and Bella. I had zero energy. I got winded doing nothing. My mom had more energy than I did.
• I was embarrassed for my husband... I wasn't the same person he married. The man is a saint and would never say anything like that but i knew it wasn't fair to him.

That is sad to write... I remember what that felt like, it was awful and I will never go back. Now the problem... and the victory :) is that all those things are past.  I don't feel weak anymore, I feel much much stronger. Right after i had Daniel I tried to do palates or walk on my treadmill and it was killer. Now the same workouts are much easier. I have way more energy now too. I have lots of clothes i like and I have thrown lots of clothes away that were too big! Of course I still have my days when I like nothing I put on but now its just sometimes, not all the time. And last but not least, I am literally the same person I was when Tom and I got married. I weigh the same now as I did on that May day in 2005  :)

It sounds like I've arrived doesn't it? But I haven't, If i had then I would be content. And I'm not.

• I want to be the same size I was in college when i met my husband, not just when I married him. And I want to wear my favorite "button fly jeans" just once more even though they are thread bare and have 6 patches already. (I could probably be fined for indecent exposure if I wore them in public... it would be worth it!)
• I want to be able to say that no matter what my weight, i am stronger and healthier than I have ever been.
• I want all the clothes in my closet to be one size and I want to maintain that same size permanently, right now I have clothes for now and clothes for later. I hate seeing the perfect skirt on Sunday and knowing it doesn't fit yet. I want to be done with that.
• I want to feel comfortable in a bathing suit.... stop laughing, I think it might be possible.
• I want to have another baby and know when I do that I am as healthy as possible.
• I want (on a slightly silly note) for my belly button to go completely inside out next time I'm pregnant. This probably seems ridiculous but I don't care... its true... its what I want... in my warped little mind it is a sign of "thinness" even in the midst of "hugeness".

So there you have it....wish me luck! I think I'm on the right track now!!!

(my mom just called and I turned down a Big Mac... *sigh* .....)

Fat Friday, Goodbye Winter Blah's.... Hello Spring.

Erma Bombeck, the original mommy blogger... before there was such a thing! I love her writing.

She once said " I've been on a diet for 13 years. I have lost 736 pounds, by all accounts I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."

My Stats:

Starting weight: 229.4

Gained this week: +0.4

Lost so far: -36.2

So the above quote is the first thing the that popped into my head after I weighed in and saw that I gained... that and "God you are merciful... I will never eat that many brownies again.... well not for a long time anyway!"

It could have been worse... we had a bake sale last weekend for our church and my husband is a genius when it comes to baking. He is good at everything he tries, but I think baking is in his top five skills. If he wanted to quit his job and open a bakery I would be all for it.... I just wouldn't be able to go there because it would never turn a profit... I would eat it all.

Anyway I did the math and if every gain had been a loss I would be down another 10.8 pounds by now!

I would almost be at my 50 pound milestone.

That is depressing and motivating. I know not ever week can be a loss but since the holiday's I have fallen off the wagon hard. I was lax over the holiday for obvious reasons and then being snowed in for the last two months didn't help either. Since November 5th I have only lost 10 pounds.

I am comforted to realize that without my efforts (however minimal) I probably would have gained 10 pounds over the holiday's like most Americans. So here we go again, it is a new week! And by this time next week it will be only 24 short hours till spring :)

I can do this.... I can do this.... I can do this.....

Fat Friday....or still fat and once again its Friday...

GAINED..... I hate that word...

In my little Weight Watchers book it says +0.6.....  I hate plus signs too.

Let's get this over with....

My Stats:

Started: 265.6

GAINED this week:  +0.6  :(

Weight Now: 229

Lost so far: 36.6

To be perfectly honest I did not count my points the second half of my WW week and I knew it was probably going to be a gain, I was actually a little relieved it wasn't worse!

So why when we know what we want...and know what we have to do to get what we want, do we often do the opposite?

For me what I want at the time seems more important than what I want in the long run. That is the simple answer. And sometimes the scale seems to move sooooo slowly... even when I am giving it 100%. I think I need to focus more on the Non-Scale Victories.

Like getting back into my wedding dress or wearing the jeans I wore in college again.

So I think that means the a list of goals and rewards (both small and big) is that much more important this week.

Last Sunday at church, someone offered to take me out to the salon, and to buy a new outfit, when I get to 50 pounds lost! My Aunt Jeanne was right, God will provide!

In the meantime, when I get to 40 pounds lost I am going to buy my self a new outfit for spring, I would probably be doing it anyway but won't let myself do it until I see -40 on the scale!

I still don't know what to do when I get to my ultimate goal, which is 190. At that point I will have lost 75 pounds....wow. I can't imagine how I let it get that far.... that I would NEED to lose that much weight.

So any ideas on an ultimate reward or celebration? I feel a new poll coming on.

And with two hours left to vote, the results are...... *drumroll please*

A two way tie!

Buy lots of new clothes -3

Get Pregnant- 3

hmm... you all do realize that these two things don't really go well together, right?  I mean, if I were to get pregnant I would certainly buy some new maternity clothes.. but the fact that they are 90% elastic just makes me want to eat some cookies. mmmm.... cookies.....

Fat Friday or "Adventures in Houlihan Land"

Yesterday was "weigh-in day". It was also my meeting leaders last day. She has been my leader since I started in July and next week we will have someone new.... weird, sad... but maybe change will be good. Either way I have now "friended" my old leader on Facebook, so I will probably actually talk to her more often.

I am disturbed by the fact that Facebook IS the majority of my social life but that is a whole nother blog post....

Anyway down to the nitty gritty, My Stats:

Started: 265.6

Lost this week: 1.6

Weight Now: 228.4

Lost so far: 37.2

So I have broken through my "yo-yo" cycle and am at my lowest weight again! This is good for me because now when I lose I FEEL like I'm losing! Not like I'm just working to get back to where I was a few weeks ago.

Now about eating out and dieting.... where to begin?

First I have to say that I think that Weight Watchers makes it easier to eat out than any other diet I know of.

If you don't know about it, they give you a number according to your height, age, weight, gender, activity level (before exercise), mine is 33, it started out at 37 but I have lost weight so it has gone down.

This is your points target, all foods have a points value, and basically when you eat it is like balancing a check book, you are trying to break even everyday. And if you do you should lose weight.

Also every week you get 35 "bonus points" you can take 'em or leave 'em, eat them all at one meal or have five every day, its up to you.

If you want to try to lose more that week then you try not to use them. If you have a party to go to you save them and use them that day. Get it? Not hard right?

When I cook at home I can make small substitutes in recipes that make a big difference in there points value.

Like margarine for butter, or reduce fat cheese instead of whole.

Not so at restaurants.... sure I can get low fat dressing on a salad, or not eat the rolls. But over all I am constantly shocked at how many points things are. Last night we went to Houlihan's and the appetizer we got was 56 points!!!!!  Granted it is meant to be shared but two people could easily eat it. My teeny tiny piece of Cappuccino Cake was 14 points! Worth every bite..... but still..... Even my salmon and asparagus entree was 13 points, probably because of butter and whatever they used to season the asparagus with.

My basic point in all of this is that what you eat at a restaurant is not the same as what you would be eating at home even if you make the exact same thing! That is the major problem with our country and weight in general I think.

Last week we were told at our meeting that the average American eats out 8 times a week! I can barely make good choices going out once or twice a week, and I am REALLY TRYING. No wonder so many people are overweight now. We have forgotten how to cook for ourselves and we are letting people feed us everyday without ever stopping to ask what exactly we are eating!

Well this is totally not what I set out to say! Next week I want to make a list of goals and reward (at my Aunts suggestion!) to keep me motivated. My next big goal is reaching the 40 pounds lost mark so that will be my first little reward, any suggestions?

Oh and there is an unfortunate picture of me from last night, but I can't get it to upload. Anyway its not a good sweater to show off my weight loss but I was trying to herd three whiny kids out the door and I didn't have time to be picky. Hopefully I can get a better one next week.

Fat Friday

Since July I've been doing Weight Watchers. Most people who know me are well aware of this because I find that it motivates me to keep going when I know that people are watching.

So here are my stats so far:

July 23rd: Started WW> 265.6 pounds (OH LORD did I really just tell you that!? If it makes any difference I was barely one month postpartum...)

Feb 18th: 39 weeks in > 230.0  pounds--- Down -35.6!

I have been fighting the same 5 pounds since New Year's and have finally gotten past it! It feels so good to be moving (consistantly) in the right direction again. My ultimate goal is 180-190. Once I get there I will probably re-evaluate how I look and feel and see if I want to try and lose more. For my height they say the maximum healthy weight is around 175. I have NEVER weighed 175 in my adult life! But who knows. I have been overweight since third grade so maybe my perception is just off.

So 35 pounds down,  about 20 inchs over all. And from a size 22 to a size 18 (which is getting big!)

I still have a long way to go but I know that I'll never have to do it again! This will be the last diet I ever go on, because I won't gain this weight back.

I can't.

The way I was living before was pathetic. I couldn't go up and down the stairs without getting winded! I never wanted to do anything. I was constantly tired. cranky. angry.

My kids, my husband, and of course myself all deserve better.

So since my weigh-in days are Thursdays (and might be changing to Friday) I'm going to try to write about diet and weight loss every Friday!

Last but not least, my favorite part, the Before and After photos! Here is my progress so far...

This is me at the end of June 2009. The top is on my 26th birthday, 10 days after Daniel was born.

 These were taken around the end of September, down 15 pounds. (250 lbs.)

 

Beginning of November (238ish)

end of November (234)

I will get a current picture for next Friday!