Too Much Information.....

I don't breastfeed.

*gasp!*

I know... I know.... 

I do it for about two weeks max out of sheer guilt and then I let it go....

But first I drive Tom crazy rationalizing 

and explaining why

and crying a little cause I feel guilty.

I think this is mostly  due to hormones because by baby number 3 I had zero intention of breastfeeding

 anyway

But in the end it is just plain complicated and painful, 

and very time consuming,

and they never sleep well for me till they get a bottle.

And all the fanfare about how great it is to breastfeed your babies... 

I'm sure its all true. 

Which is part of the reason I do it the first few weeks.

However I refuse to believe it is as life changing as some people would have us believe.

Smarter?

 I dare you to go into any school and tell me which children were breastfed and which weren't.

Health? 

My kids only get truly sick maybe once or twice a year. (like fever, lethargic sick.)

 I think they get sick less because they are home with me and not in daycare or preschool.

Bonding?

I'll give you this one... but I've seen breastfed toddlers and honestly, I'm not sure I want that kind of clingy relationship with my kids.
Not all.... but many seem glued to there moms.

And I think that using a baby sling with our last little one gave me more of a bond too.

Ok... so I feel like I'm gonna get some hate mail if I don't clarify that I think breastfeeding is great, 

beautiful,

natural,

all those warm fuzzy things.

And I'm in awe of women who do it for the first months or years.

Seriously I applaud you and on some level I feel you are a better mother than I.

That is the point though... I just couldn't seem to breastfeed and be a good and happy mother.

It seemed I was always feeding her
and then when I didn't have to be feeding her I wanted nothing to do with her because i knew that I was going to have to feed her again in an hour or two.

and the feedings seemed to last forever

and she never seemed satisfied 

and I was in pain constantly...

I guess if bottles weren't an option I would have eventually made it work.... 

but there were no guarantees that we would all survive (sanity intact) until I got the hang of it....

But 

for the love of all that is good and Holy lets stop being so hard on each other and the choices we mothers have to make. 

Seriously it is hard enough to make decisions based on your kids and your husbands well being but when I start to fret about what everyone else will think!? 

I might as well just get back in bed with a couple pounds of chocolate and lock the door.

 ok... so don't judge me and I won't judge you.

Now to the point...

Yes that was just a sideline...

Still with me? Good....

So Isabella has a new cousin who is being breastfed by her saint of a mother :)

Seriously Christi I'm proud of you.

Anyway Bella asked if she could hold her while she was being fed and Christi said,"when she is done eating"

Bella said...." Um.... but where is her bottle?"

She said it without making eye contact... I think she knew it was in some way inappropriate to talk about.

So Christi just says "Laura!?" 

I begin to explain about the baby kittens at Grammy's house and how they were getting milk from there mama. 

She cut me off and shouted without looking me in the eye "ok... ok... I get it!"

She is so cute when she is embarrassed!

End of story? Of course not...

fast forward...

It's Saturday, the neighbors are having a garage sale on  one side, 

the other neighbors are in and out puttering in the yard.

 We were outside with her baby doll and she asked me to baby sit so she could go up and see her Dad in the very back of the yard.

She begins to give me directions about naps and how to hold her and so on... 

then she tells me that she like to eat bellies.

Hmmm... so I begin to explain...."No honey that's not what the baby's do."

And I go into great detail about nipples and bottles and how they look alike and do the same thing to give babies a drink.

She has a very cute "Aha!" moment and then I explain that its not something we should talk about with anyone but mama or daddy.

She says ok and heads for the back yard.

Then she turns and yells at the top of her lungs.

"MAMA? You can feed her from your NIPPLE if you want to!!!!"

*crickets chirping*

.... no sweetie I don't want to... 

I did say she could talk to me about it I guess I should have said "not while we are yelling across the yard."

That's the thing about preschoolers... 

you never know how much explanation is enough... or how much is too much.

This scenario was a little of both I think.

Excuse me now, I'm off to bed with at least a half pound of chocolate.

Prince Charming to the Rescue!

I thought it might be nice to try to make Isabella her birthday cake this year.
I was inspired in part by the Vitafamiliae Blog, and partly I just plain felt like I could actually do it...

Save money,

make memories,

look good in front of the relatives!

I could barely boil water when I got married, so this is a big step for me ok?

And so it began as a cake...then a princess cake... then maybe the kind of cake you see that looks like the skirt on a barbie (you know like a ball gown?).

She said she wanted "Cinderella" so we started looking at pictures and that was the fateful moment when she saw a castle cake... a big fancy one... and she said in awe, "I want a castle cake mama!" 

And I said... "Ok"..... cool as could be..... no problem.... your mom can do anything baby, don't even sweat it.

What I was really thinking is ....'Daddy can do anything and he will save my butt'

he cooks

he bakes

he builds

he fixes... well... everything!

Have I said lately that I am the luckiest woman alive and I truly love this man that God gave to me?  

Cause I am and I do!!!

These are the pans we used, I made the cake from the Pioneer Woman's Recipe.

I love her... shes not hard to love... just try one of her recipes!

Once I had made the cake and the frosting (thank you Leesha it was awesome!)

Tom pointed out that it might not survive the drive to my moms house in the morning once it was assembled,

so we loaded up the kids and headed to my moms to finish the cake.

I would like to say now that  

I made the cake..

I made the icing.... 

and I figured out the general assembly process  

with some help from Tom and my awesome facebook friends..

Then I wisely let my baby take over...

Here you go...

Rice Krispies to hold the cupcake towers together and anchor them

Lollipop sticks to help

Pre-icing

The cone roofs with icing and sugar crystal on top

iced...

And....

TA-DA!!!

The doors and windows are Wafer cookies he cut with scissors to look like windows and doors.

One very happy birthday princess!

One very awesome Daddy and some very blessed kids!

Did I mention I never even really asked him to help?

He apologized for "kinda taking over my project" once we were in the car heading home...

little did he know That I knew it was his project all along :)

Bella Beautiful

Four years is not a long time. 

Four years is high school... or college.

Four years is a presidential term.

Four years is a lifetime for a mouse... betcha didn't know that did you?

It is hard to believe that I have only been a mommy for four years.
That Four years ago today I was just about to meet this little girl who would change my life forever.

Isabella in 2006

One year old

Two years old

 Three years old.. I love this picture.

She won't tell me yet what she wants to be when she grows up... a mommy? A doctor? A teacher?

When I ask she just says" No mama, I just wanna be Isabella Josephine."

This is who she is so far...

She loves to dance, and sing... and generally be the center of attention. 

 She loves her "brotters" and thinks she is the mini-mama

 She likes to use big words, even when she really has no idea what they mean.

"I need some "pribacy" in the bathroom mama"

She loves shoes, every time we pass a shoe store she wants to "look"... so do I but someone has to be the voice to reason.... Daddy is the voice when it comes to shoes.

She is still very attached to her "byank". Her receiving blankets from when she was baby. She doesn't care which one.. as long as they are hers, the boys blankets won't do, it has to be pink or purple.
She was constantly spitting up when she was a baby and we couldn't get her to nap well.
Finally her Grammy told me to give her the burp cloth for naps. 

"she has it 24-7, you can't take it away when she goes to bed"

Turns out my mother in law (who has twelve kids of her own) knows a thing or two! worked like a charm :) Now Grammy, how do we get her to let it go??? 

notice the blanket in the bottom left...

Her newest love is riding on her big girl bike. She still has training wheels but she thinks she is very big and bad.

She loves her princess dolls. Two small Disney princesses with little rubber dresses.

She loves to dig in the dirt.

She loves to go to Cooks Forest every year with her big family, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents. Happiness for Bella is people... lots of people.
She loves to cuddle with her Grammy
(when she is upset Grammy has a way of talking her down better than anyone else),
or watch her Grandpa cook breakfast,
or ride on a bike with one of her many aunts and uncles.

She loves to go to Nana and Pappy's house,
and play in my old playhouse,
or play with the bathroom sink,
or ride her bike inside!
Or anything else she would never get to do at home.
Nana is her partner in crime.
Pappy is her over grown Teddy bear.

She loves Chocolate
(anything.... seriously)

  She loves to pray long, exhaustive, rambling prayers..
possibly to just keep from having to go to bed.

She loves the movie Cinderella.

She loves going to Sunday School.

She loves her Daddy

and she loves me too...  

Four years is not a very long time, but we didn't need four years to fall in love.

Before you were conceived I wanted you.
Before you were born I loved you.
Before you were here an hour I would die for you.
This is the miracle of love

Happy Birthday Bella Baby.

Faith like a Child

The other night Tom was playing with the kids... he is the fun parent in this equation.

Handstands, wrestling matches, hide and seek.... he does it all.

I just do everything else.... anyway....    

They were running in circles around the kitchen when (for some reason) Isabella wants him to jump over her.

So he did, kind of  ' leap frog ' style....

She of course is tickled and says "Do it again!"

He says "I can't! I'm too old, my knees hurt!"

I say "You are getting really old, nearing thirty."  

He muttered something about a divorce...

... just kidding....

Then Isabella says "Don't worry Daddy, when you get old you get to go to heaven!"

Faith like a child....the students have become the teachers, or rather they have always been the teachers!

I've learned more from these kids in the last four years than I ever did in the previous twenty-two.

A few days later Isabella came to me crying about her knees hurting (she calls them her elbows... we are working on it).  I am assuming it was growing pains and I was about to ask if she wanted tylenol when she said "Will you pray for me?".

Wow.... that wouldn't have occurred to me on my own...

So that is child like faith? Going to our heavenly Father first, before we try all the other possible solutions.

How many times could I have saved myself grief, irritation, heartache, worry....if I had just gone to Him first?

In prayer, in His word, in just sitting still for few worship songs in the middle of a bad day.

They are watching us, 

mimicking us,

trying to learn from us everyday.

Little do they know we are learning just as much from them.

Tell it to your children,
and let your children tell it to their children,
and their children 

to the next generation. 

Joel 1:3

Scwitchy???

I love Kidism's ..... these incredibly funny, weird, nonsense things my kids say daily.

For example...

Isabella is running through the house the other day yelling at her brother. "Get back here you scwitchy!!"

Scwitchy.....??? This could be spelled incorrectly, I could not find it in the dictionary and my spell check is currently suggesting , Twitchy, Switch, Scratchy, or Switchgear. 

Being the concerned, attentive parent that I am.... ahem..... I stopped her and asked nicely 

"what did you call Tommy?". 

I have to ask in a sweet, non-threatening voice or she thinks she is in trouble and suddenly she is stricken with amnesia.

"Um..... a Scwitchy??" she shrugs.

"Oh... and what does that mean?" I ask.

"Its kind of like an Electric Squirrel." she says (Very matter-of-fact) as she runs away.

*crickets chirping*

Needless to say "Kidism's" will now have there very own category.

Thank you Isabella...

Kidism's.... just one of the many perks of preschoolers!