Sunrise... Sunset...

My computer has reached maximum capacity!

I have no more space left to upload photos.... I think maybe that means I have to many.

Anyway my jack of all trades husband will be fixing this shortly but until he does all my new adorable pictures are stuck on my camera.

So I thought I would go back in time a bit.

Its always a good reality check to see where you've be and compare it to where you are now.

Some Octobers past....

 So we are going to glaze over October 2005...
since I don't think I have many pictures from then...
and I didn't own a computer of my own back then so most all the pictures I would have are on CD's.
Hence you cannot see them because I cannot upload them!

Let me paint you a picture instead, 

Five months married, 

Four months pregnant.

emotions were running high I'm sure, but life was exciting, new, and good.

Ok onto 2006...

Wow, picture quality has come a long way huh?

This is Bella around seven months old, with my Grandma.

I'm so glad they had this time together.

Now she calls her "Big grandma Julia who lives in heaven."

Big as in "Great"... she was not large, she maybe weighed 98 pounds soaking wet.

Just wanted to clarify.

She went home the following May.
We miss her very much still, I wonder how long it will take for the holidays to feel normal without her?
I think they probably never will, and that's a good thing in a way.

 Time marches on to 2007...

We are enjoying lots of firsts with Isabella who is about 19 months, 

and we are anxiously awaiting Tommys arrival.

It's so hard to believe we were ever a family of three.

... and its amazing to me how young Tom looks...

...and how round I look...

and how much Isabella looks like Daniel.

These were my favorite pj's on her, they were past down from her Grammy.

They were last worn by her much loved Aunt H.

If Bella knew that she would still be wearing them I think!

On to 2008....

Tommy is ten months old and we can't imagine life without him.

I am amazed at their relationship already. Like they were born to be best friends.

This was my hope from before they were born of course

but I couldn't have imagined the feeling of seeing it in reality.

We are beginning to realize that she is a girlie girl... to an extreme.

Example... to her this is an everyday outfit. 

Perfectly good for the playground, grocery store, or dinner at the white house.

And although Tommy is still the baby of the family we have just found out that, come June,

he will also be a big brother.

Before we can blink it is October of 2009....

We are now a family of five.

With a four month old...

another who is not quite two...

and lastly our firstborn, who is now an expert big sister at the age of three and a half.

Life is busy but beautiful.

It was around this time that we lost our much loved dog Sheba.
But we found some comfort in our new puppy Jack.

There was a little adjustment....

but we got him some chew toys and they have since become the best of friends.

Its hard to believe just one year ago Daniel was in his little baby carrier.

And Tommy could still be contained in a pack n play...

I melt when he gives me this cheesy smile....

Four years gone by in a blink.... and we come to just this past weekend....

We are five still but with a little kick boxer reminding us... well mostly me, that life is ever changing.
By this time next year the picture of our life will look a bit different.
And I will look back on the family we are now and wonder where the time has gone.

Mothers with children who have grown say that the "days are long but the years are short."

Amen.... truer words were never spoken.

Deep Thoughts

If it takes me a full five minutes to unhook my bra because the hooks are so mangled does that mean I should throw it out?

Am I the only person in the world who has trouble throwing out old damaged clothes?

And yet strangely when I am able to do it....
(I mean really do it, 
like put it in the outside garbage can where I won't change my mind and get it back out)
.... I suddenly feel free and giddy!

Like the stuff I own doesn't own me!!!
yeah right.

~

How often do normal people wash a bathrobe?
I normally do it when I feel its counter productive to put it on after I'm all squeaky clean from a shower.

Too long?
I thought so....
And then when I do wash it why does it always end up in the load that sits for just slightly too long in the washer?
I hate that mildewy smell....

~

Getting ready for church on Sunday I was so frazzled and busy running around the kitchen trying to feed everyone that I didn't notice Tommy sneeze... twice.
Both times he reprimanded me "Mommy say Byess you!"

There is a sad irony in this.

~

I am right now smack dab in the middle of this pregnancy.
We are parents to three and a half children.
in slightly less than five and a half years.
I don't really wonder why people think I'm crazy, I just wish we could leave it unspoken a little more often.

"Are you Catholic?"
No I quit.

"Don't you know what causes that?"
No I was raised Catholic.

"Wow I could never do that!"
Oh yes you could... this one is only said by people who didn't know me B.C. (before children)

"Are you in a competition?"
If I wanted to compete I would have tried to be an Olympic triathlete... 
it would be easier and I would know when I had won.

Sink or Swim

Today was one of those....

Tom took my car this morning to get an estimate on some body work.

Its not that I had anywhere to go... its just knowing that I couldn't go anywhere that bothered me.

Some days I wish that I was stuck at home... but the days when I am I feel nearly suffocated.

I guess the reason is that when things reach the boiling point here..

When I know I'll go completely insane if one more person tries to climb my leg, 

or hits their sibling because they "wouldn't stop singing", 

or becomes hysterical because I say, "no more pretzels, dinner will be ready in ten."

When we get to that point the only option left to me that will keep us all safe and sane is to strap them all down in those car seats that I affectionately think of as strait jackets, and leave the loony bin.

Sometimes we go to target, 

sometimes my sainted mother or mother in laws house, 

sometimes we just drive until I feel better.

So not having my car is like someone taking away my life preserver and sending me white water rafting.

I'm a great swimmer... but these are not your average waters.

There are hazards at every turn...

teething... four molars at once...

lactose intolerance induced vomiting...

potty training set backs...

nose dives off the couch...

shall I continue?

Back to the problem at hand... not having a car today was bad enough,

but now I will be stranded tomorrow as well.

After Tom got the estimate he got rear ended... so back he goes tomorrow for an estimate on a new bumper.

I'm not even gonna think about next week when they will be doing the actual work....

I need a new life preserver....

I'm thinking Nick Jr. and a lot of chocolate.

Home Sweet Home

We are home from a week of camping... and I'm totally exhausted.

But its in that contented, relaxed, way... like snuggling up on the couch after a home cooked meal.

A meal that you slaved over... but still.

This vacation thing is a lot more work when you have kids, but its so worth it to see them have fun.

 

 Isabella wanted smore's every night.... and she pretty much got her wish.

They are my favorite too.

 

Daddy got to read lots of stories too, which they loved.

And the oldest two got to share a bed, which went surprisingly well.

But don't worry about Daniel, he was never left out.

They loved pulling his wagon almost as much as he loved to ride.

My two Tom's.

And one of them had a birthday...

which meant we all had cheesecake... 

which is always awesome.

Thank you for being born sweetheart, Love you lots.

.....Random cuteness.... there's never enough pictures of a happy baby.

This baby was happy because he was constantly entertained by his many aunts and uncles....

....and a big, beautiful, blazing fire every night.

It was a beautiful week and I have tons more pictures, 

but right now the laundry has piled up and I must get back to reality.

Lazy Laundry

I have misplace my sofa....

Oh wait there it is......

Lord help me I hate laundry.
It's the chore that doesn't end....

I have tried and tried to find some sort of organized way of staying on top of it so I don't end up overwhelmed and out of clothes to wear come Sunday morning (the only day I really "get dressed") 
This is the only thing I've found that works for me.

 My system for getting it done is to use tactics which make my doing it inevitable...
well... they should make it inevitable but sometimes conditions stay like the scene it the above photo
for a shamefully long time.

First I wait till I or someone else is basically out of clothes.

Then I do multiple loads of laundry in a day until I have many, many, many, baskets full.
washing all the laundry in the house in a 10 to 12 hour period.

Then that evening or the next morning I dump it all on the sofa.

I do this on purpose so I can't sit down until its done... sometimes I make my bed and dump it there.

That way there is (theoretically) no going to bed before the laundry is folded either.

Works for me, but not so much for Tom!

He is not a fan of waiting for me to fold laundry at midnight, just so he can lay down.

Bella is not a fan of laundry period.
She mostly hates not being allowed to get up on the couch while I'm working on it.
Little does she know that laundry is THE chore I am anxiously awaiting her help with...
soon baby! Soon!

Then I once its all folded in piles according to rooms I just stick it in a basket and take it to its owners closet.
Where I usually get it into drawers with in a day or two... or three....

That is my "laundry system".
My name isn't Martha and it works for me.
So there...

Lullaby's and Lavender...

The house is quiet, 

The only sounds are my music playing softly

Just like a star cross my sky...

Just like an angel off the page,

you have appeared to my life...

feel like I'll never be the same.

Just like a song to my heart,

Just like oil on my hands,

only to love you....

Every time I hear that I think of my angels....

I can say "angels" with a strait face because they are sleeping and the noise has stopped.

No one is screaming or hitting anyone.

No one is pouring goldfish crumbs on the couch right after I put away the vacuum.

They are angels again until eight am... God willing.

Jack is making weird squeaking noises in his cage behind me.

Barking with his mouth closed and dreaming about something.

Must be good because in reality I think I've heard him bark about three times....

I can hear the shower running in the distance 

and in a few minute Tom will come tell me to come to bed to watch a movie....

The kids are all tucked in and freshly bathed.... for a change...

Why is it so hard to find the energy to give them all a bath at the end of the day?

Bella will smell like lavender in the morning when she comes to snuggle in my bed at the first sign of dawn.

Every night its the same questions as I try to back out the door saying "I love you" and "Goodnight baby"

over and over....

"When will you go to bed?"

"soon."

"Will you leave the light on?"

"I always do sweetie."

"Can I come cuddle with you when its light?"

"Of course you can baby."

And some nights there are random other questions... 

" How many sleeps till campin?"

"Can we go somewhere tomorrow?"

"Is Sheba still in heaven? I miss her mama."

 "When the baby comes out of your belly can I teach her to ride a bike?"

"When is Santa gonna be back at the mall?" 

"Why can't we take our TV campin? I'm gonna miss Elmo."

This is a snapshot of my evenings right now.... Soon they will shift and change again.

The new baby will come, routines will change. 

They will grow and learn and there questions will change.

They will get more complicated I'm sure.

And I'll quickly forget the routine that right now I can recite to our babysitters off by heart.

"Tommy and Daniel need there blankets and binkies.... 

Bella will want a girl blanket... not one of the boys.

She will ask for water, only give her half a cup.

Let them each have a turn to pray.

Put Daniel down a half hour before them...

but let them kiss him goodnight or they will be sad they missed it.

Tell her she can come cuddle with me in the morning, 

I'll be in my bed when she wakes up... and I'll kiss her before I go to sleep" 

I don't want to forget, so I'm writing down what seems mundane to everyone but me and their Daddy.

And maybe someday they will enjoy knowing what it was like when they were little.

I'm sad these days will pass but I remember a time when Bella was too little to get up and come find me in my bed for a morning cuddle, and now I can't imagine her not coming....

its one of my favorite times of our day.

I'm looking forward to the day when we have four warm little bodies snuggled in our bed, 

smelling like lavender and happiness itself as the sun slowly wakes us.

Humbled By a Haircut

Our Pastor's wife is always teasing me that Tommy's hair makes him look like Rod Stewart.

The only difference is Tommy's hair does this naturally

And we don't let it get that long... because it scares me.

I start to hear "Do ya think I'm sexy?" in my head often.... 

lovely...

anyway...

I also don't like it really short,

honestly I like it when its just like his Dad's hair.

But I'm awful at cutting hair, just ask my best friend from high school... it grew back,

and I thought a short bob looked really cute on her... but that's another story.

So all that to say I'm to cheap to pay and not skilled enough to do it myself.

So Daddy does the hair cuts.

Except for weeks now its been on the "to do" list and hasn't actually gotten done

So Saturday night I was determined to get his haircut before bath time... 

except bedtime came and went and everyone was getting cranky and tired, and Daddy was on the phone.

And I was getting more and more annoyed waiting.

And we had to get up for church in the morning so baths were necessary

So I say to him "were you going to cut it or just buzz it?"

Meaning make it look like yours or give him a longish buzz cut.

He says buzz....

So I head to the bathroom with Tommy and decide that much I can do myself.

Meanwhile if I had stopped to take a breathe I would have known Tom was getting  porch all ready for him to get his haircut out there.
 So I take his clothes off so he's ready for the tub and set him on a towel.
 Then he starts freaking out about the clippers buzzing...
I try to calm but he isn't making any sense.

Finally I realize what he's saying...

"No tut off my pee pee mama! You no tut it off!"

tut = cut in Tommy speak.

And he's cupping it.... I guess he thought that was why he wasn't wearing any clothes.

ouch.

So I explain and he calms down and I'm laughing so hard I'm nearly crying.
Apparently the sense of "self" preservation for men is strong from birth... 

 
Back to the task at hand, I start at his forehead....

and immediately I see my mistake.

I grabbed the number one attachment, 

I meant to get number two.

but all the talk of pee pee's getting cut off distracted me... 

and maybe I was still in a huff about Daddy being on the phone. Maybe.

So since i started in the front I was stuck.

and so was poor Tommy.

Dad wasn't to happy with it either.

"You never start in the front!" he groaned... "this is why."

The boy is a millimeter away from being mister clean.

Oh well hair grows fast right? 

Now If I could just grow patience a little faster...

hmmm.... I guess that last statement is missing the point yet again,
some people never learn, I fear I am one of them.