He is an early bird... in this family that is....

Daniel pulled himself up to standing today!

 

He just turned eleven months.

He is leading the pack now as far as gross motor skills for children in this family...

 

Sad I know.

He was so excited to find something that made noise.. he "played" for a good twenty minutes.

Bella walked around 17 months

Tommy around 14 months.

Daniel is well on his way to setting a record for the family!

 

 

 

Go Baby Go!!!

Our Weekend.

I didn't know what the plan was for our anniversary weekend.
All I knew was we were dropping the kids off at Grammy's on Friday after lunch and we were free until Sunday afternoon... that alone would have been enough!

But Tom insisted on surprises...

A card just after midnight on Friday morning  :)  our anniversary.

He cleaned the house, after I left to drop off the kids and rearranged some things he knew I wanted done.
 He even mopped the kitchen floor!
If it weren't for the artwork on the fridge and walls you wouldn't have known we had kids living here. 

He also put stuff from our wedding all around the house, photos, cake knife, my bouquet.

Then another card... cause he is indecisive and he like them both.
So he got them both... don't you love how men think?


Then I was ordered to dress up for dinner... and this was the view from our table....

And these were the roses that were waiting for me!

And then after dessert there was jewelry!!!
I never saw it coming... the restaurant... the flowers... that was more than enough!
But I do love diamonds so I won't complain.

And as a thank you I made him this for breakfast,
and of course I had to have some too :)

Here is the link to the recipe! Your welcome in advance!

It was the most relaxing beautiful weekend!!!
I am so blessed that he is mine...

but now back to reality and weight watchers!
I think I gained a pound just looking at the pictures....

To Love and Be Loved.

Baby, 

Its been five years today that we've been married.

Two days after our wedding we set out on the first of many adventures together. Ocean City, MD.

No hotel reservations, no real plan, 

just two thousand dollars, a leaky convertible, and two weeks off work.

We ate till we couldn't move, 

stayed up all night long,

walked on the beach in the cold... you in your boots, me in bare feet.

We wandered into every little weird store on the boardwalk,

bought a painting of Paris and said someday we would go there together.

I've often wished I could go back to the days before our wedding and tell myself to slow down,
that we would never get it back, and we should savor it.
especially our honeymoon, it was a once in a lifetime thing.
not the location obviously but the time,
no kids, no responsibility, truly carefree.

A few weeks later, July 3rd to be exact, in a house that still didn't really feel like home.

Your sitting on the couch, the right side of the old leather one we have since thrown out.

I come out and show you the plus sign with shaking hands and demand that you take me to walmart for another test.

I can't fathom that I'm going to be a mother, but when we get to the store I buy three tests...and a pregnancy magazine.

Three more plus signs and we spend the fourth of July spreading our good news.

October of the same year, we head to St. Kitt's for our "real" honeymoon.

I am five months pregnant now. 

The bumpy dark and stormy landing nearly makes me throw up, you are across the aisle holding my hand.

I remember thinking if the plane went down at least I could die holding your hand.

It was comforting... that is true love....

...by the way... we are taking a cruise when we go to Paris.

Its March of  the next year and we are waiting for our daughter to be born, she is late... of course.

You are my sanity, the only thing I have left to cling to.

We are going to have to be induced. You get my favorite take out the night before. 

You drive me to the hospital and play calming music, and listen to me cry about how scared I am.

You try to hold me while they give me the epidural... its Ok, every superman has his kryptonite.

You get me ice chips.

You get me cold wash cloths.

You count to ten for and hour and a half and cheer me on. I really wanted to make you proud.

And you are the only person in the room who is feeling what I'm feeling when that little girl takes her first breath.

We do the late nights and the early mornings,
you do them more than me while I fight off the "baby blues"

You amaze me with what a good and natural father you are.

I am just a tad jealous.

We celebrate all her firsts.

   and our first anniversary.

Soon she is one and at the end of a long celebration with friends and family she is running a fever.

You take her temperature while I take a pregnancy test.

I have another plus sign 

She has a temperature over a hundred and four.

We spend the night in the ER wondering what we will do on nights like this when we have two kids.

We have a son, and now your name is even more a part of me. 

Now the son we've had will carry on your name. I am as proud as I've ever been.

We suffer a miscarriage... I am sure you are suffering as much as I am which surprises me a little, 

and makes me love you more.

We pray, we cry, we make it though stronger. 

A few months later 

another plus sign and another son.

 He is healthy but I'm not.

Epidural headache and treatments lead to possible infections.

MRI's, spinal taps, endless antibiotics. 

You are so strong for me 

and I don't worry about the kids because I know you are taking my place as only you could. 

overseeing the house, who will watch them and when, 

cleaning it from top to bottom the night before I come home.

I never saw you scared,  
I wouldn't have known how scared you were if my sister hadn't told me.

Thank you for not letting me see that. I needed your strength that day since I had none.

 

Five years of babies growing, late night fevers,  feedings and diapers changes.

Five years of watching miracles happen and prayers get answered.

Five years of you leading us and me learning to follow.

Five years of you taking care of me and me taking care of you. 

I pray for fifty more.

On our fifty fifth wedding anniversary you will be seventy seven and I'll be seventy six.

I want to write about our trip to Paris, with pictures of us on the Eiffel tower.

I want to brag about our kids and grandkids. 

I want to have side by side rocking chairs on the porch.

I remember thinking on our wedding day that I couldn't love you more than I did at that moment.

I was wrong,

And in fifty years I want to be even more in love with you than I am today.

Il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé. 

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

Love, me.

Wedding Time Warp

I've been looking through wedding photos.

I thought I would be inspired to write about "us"

me and him, 

the beginning of our life together.

That is what your wedding day is supposed to be about right?

An old life ending and a new one beginning, a life together.

Except when I look back on that day I don't really see us.

It was a day all about us, celebrating the choice we were making... "forever"

But when I look at the photos now mostly I see all the people who came to celebrate with us

and my mind starts reeling at how much we have all changed in five short years.

In this picture are Tom's five groomsmen, at the time none of them had any kids, and none of them were married. Now they have all been married or engaged and between them they have ten kids, well.... thirteen if you include Tom.

My "little" cousin Alex and her friend... well into their high school years now.

... my husbands little brothers, these two will be sixteen soon...

My Gram... she passed away about two years after our wedding, just a few months after Bella turned one.

It was such a blessing that she lived long enough to meet Tom and my daughter.

I could go on and on, friendships lost, new ones made, ones that need some tlc.

I remember wondering how I'd ever fit in to Tom's big noisy family and now I feel like I've always been there.

I wondered how I would ever be able to live without my sister in the next room and my beck and call.

(we are still working on that one.... I think the best solution is for her to just move in here.)

Tom's little brother and his best friend.

Both married now,

both new dad's.

Brian!

(Andrea! put some clothes on!!!)

This was the first big family thing my cousin brought his future wife to.

They weren't engaged yet.

Now they are the proud parents of this cutie...

Of course some things haven't change, and in that I find comfort.

This picture could have been taken yesterday, 

minus the dressy clothes 

and one of them is blond, 

one is out of state, 

and one has lost a hundred pounds or so.... I'll let you speculate.

And of course my mom and dad, same as ever.... probably better with time.

Too much emotion in this picture to even begin to form a sentence about it, but how could I leave it out?

my girls, 

my best friends.

Ok I'm stopping before I have to get someone to come mop me up off the floor.

Maybe if I go look at our wedding scrapbook I'll be able to make it about us again.

But maybe a wedding just isn't about two people,

maybe its about two families,

two groups of friends, 

two histories 

coming together to make one big beautiful "Once Upon a Time" from which we can begin to write our story.

Life Lately

I want to get back to happy things.. hold on to your hats, I have some catching up to do.

The above photo was taken after a last minute shopping trip with daddy, 

they were getting my mothers day gifts.

aww....

 a giant pop-up, musical card... it plays "You are my Sunshine".... perfect....

I also got, willow tree figurines, jewelry, hanging baskets, and a sign for my wall....

I saw this on another blog a long time ago and Tom remembered that I liked it when he saw it in Target.

I love Target... and I love Tom.

And it really does help me relax.
It was a print that was on the subway walls in London during world war two.

When things get chaotic (as they have a tendency to do) I remember that no one is dropping bombs on me

so it is a good day.

 
Its funny... its serious... its a good reminder to stop whining, put down the chocolate and carry on.

Anyway.....

Here is the hottest guy ever best daddy ever helping them plant some of the flowers that Nana "helped" them buy me.

she drove, she paid... but Bella picked.

I'm pretty sure they just wanted a reason to use the watering can's she got them for Easter.

 I have no reason to show you this... I have No idea what she is doing... but it makes me giggle.

I think she thinks she is being feminine.

What? what's so funny?

Then there was worship practice, Tom doesn't usually do it so it was a treat for the kids

and me... I love when he plays guitar.

Tommy really was happy most of the time.

and Daniel spent time practicing climbing stairs.... 

this was about as far as he got, but he entertained himself for a long time.

And last but not least Isabella had the honor of being a flower girl this weekend.

This was the rehearsal.

Her Aunt Kristin was the maid of honor.

Aren't they gorgeous!?

Ok, more wedding pics later... gotta get ready for the big anniversary weekend! 

Five years of wedded bliss on Friday!

Cancer.

I want this blog to be about happy things, mostly the kids and our life together.

I want to talk to other people about what's important to me.

I want to share God's love... 

I know that sounds corny but there is just too much love here for just the five of us.

But the time has come to write about an ugly and scary side of our lives these last few weeks.

 

My Mom had to have a radical hysterectomy yesterday, 

She has uterine cancer.

Ominous sounding isn't it? 

When I get bad news... really bad news, I get dizzy and my vision gets fuzzy.

That's how I felt when they told me.

If it was "contained" she had a 95% chance of survival.

If it had spread she had a 25% chance.

We had to wait two weeks not knowing,

and then the three hours spent in the waiting room were some of the longest of my life.

But though it all God is good
One week to the day after she was diagnosed I ran into a friends mom,
she had been in chemo the last time I saw her.... very sick... not at all the vibrant woman I had known
now against all odds she is cancer free.

God whispered that he knew my fears...

A few day's later I ran into the pastor from the church where my dad got saved back in October.
Dad's salvation led to both him and my mom getting baptized, something she had simply never done
though she'd been a Christian for many years.


God reminded me that she was His child....

The day before her surgery I saw another woman, someone my husband used to work for.
She too had cancer ,in more than one area, many surgeries, many chemotherapy rounds, and many close calls.
She too is alive and cancer free today.

God put my mom's diagnosis into perspective....

There are so many other ways that God had prepared me for this, and many ways He helped me through it.

Praise God it went wonderfully and the doctors believe the surgery was "curative"

They may do radiation just to be sure she won't have a recurrence.
But we are just thanking God they caught it very early,
they think its gone for good,
and we get to keep our Mama and Nana for a lot LOT longer.

But the older I get the more I'm seeing that nothing is permanent.
Nothing is ever guaranteed beyond this very moment.

My parents,  the ones who have always been there

My little sister and best friend,

My husband, my truly better half.... more like three quarters...
there is way more of him in my heart and soul than there is of me anymore.

My precious, adorable babies who give meaning to every little mundane thing that I do.


All of them are not mine to keep.
God has given them to me for now,
they are his extravagant gift to me.
And someday we will be separated... not maybe... we will be.
Either they will die or I will.
Maybe not for many years... maybe in just a few days.... only God knows.

Does this scare me? Does it hurt? Does it make me lose faith?
Yes it scares me, most everyone is scared of pain.
Yes it hurts, how do you picture life without someone you love?

But faith? I think it gives me a greater faith.
God only asks us to choose Him... to choose to love Him.
He loved us enough to die for us, in our place.


In our place.
So there is death on earth, but because of God's love, if you accept the sacrifice he made.
then there is a new life for you.

I don't see it as a very hard choice to make. I don't want to die, God doesn't want me to die.
But he does want it to be my choice, and I love that about Him.
He knew love couldn't be a reflex, if it were it would matter about as much as blinking.
 Do you ever think about blinking?
See my point?

Love is beautiful because we know that the other side of love is ugly.
Hatred is destructive.
Hating others, hating yourself, hating God.
God wants beauty for out lives.
But he knew there would be no value in love without giving us a choice.

This world is like that waiting room in the hospital, we aren't really living here, this is not all there is.
Choose Him....He's already chosen you.         

Please Pass the Peas

Daniel does not like peas...

I'm not sure he will forgive me for making him eat half the jar.

Or for posting this picture... he isn't smiling by the way,

He gagged the whole time, but he kept eating... such a trooper.

oh the horror....

It was like a marathon for him, he seemed exhausted when it was all over,

like the Chinese guy who ate the most hot dogs ever....

  look at those sad eyes.... this kid has been scarred for life...

He may never smile again!

He will spend the rest of his days wondering why his mother hated him...

"why did she torture me so?" He will ask his therapist....

What can I do to regain his love???

hmm..... you are my sunshine...my only sunshine.... you make me haaaapppyyyy.....

That's Better.

I'm forgiven... until next time.