Thursday, March 22, 2012

Six Years Ago Tonight....

Six years ago I was sitting in this same spot but on a second hand leather sofa.... there were a few more walls back then but more about that another day.

I was eating a Chicken Salad... Texas Roadhouse.... love their ranch dressing.
I was barely enjoying it though. I was a nervous wreck.

I was nine months and one week pregnant with my first child and scheduled to head to the hospital to be induced in just a few hours.

I remember crying nearly the whole hour long drive. But in the end it was nothing like I feared and more beautiful than I could ever have imagined






I remember having a moment right when she was born that I felt almost like I could see everything.
Years.
I could see her whole life mingled with mine... the weight of it could have crushed me.
That was truly amazing and I always think that I could never live that way day to day.
I couldn't breathe for the beauty of it all.


And seeing the man I love become a Dad. Forget it. 
Nothing will ever compare.


Watching my baby become a big sister three times over... it runs a close second.

Bella holding a newborn Tommy...

Bella holding newborn Daniel...

Bella with newborn Vivian.... the sister she prayed for. 
And by this time tomorrow my first baby will be six.
Amazing.

So tomorrow we will eat ice cream cake, and pizza and corndogs at the birthday girls request.
And we will skip school... and we will enjoy a rare birthday in the sun and sandals.
And we will celebrate being six.
Six years of joy and purpose.
Six years of pink and sparkle.
Six years of our beautiful Bella. 

Thursday, March 8, 2012

March Madness

My house is torn apart. I am not coping as well as I would like to.
Today is better than yesterday though because I know things are going to start to move along here this weekend.

I am surprised how annoyed I am by all this.
 I can't wait to see it done!
But really I just want to dust and sweep and redecorate my walls!
I have too many cute spring decorations and I NEED to use them....


Life mixed in with mess and power tools....

We have taken out two main walls and the dining room ceiling and there is dust everywhere.
My Aunt Jeanne came in and said "wow."
 Turns out part of her amazement was about how "clean" it was....
that is because I am following Tom with a dust pan and vacuum.

But is it any wonder? Between the two little ones alone any little project easily becomes a big one and this is no little project.


I am having mini heart attacks about the kids going up and down the steps without a railing... I keep telling them no walking, sit and scoot. 

And the table has been strategically place to break a fall should the unthinkable occur....
 mother of the year!

Another thing that seems to be taking longer is we keep changing plans and tweaking things. 
We were going to leave that little bit of wall to the left. But then we got cabin fever and decided we were loving the opened up feeling to much to stop where we had planned...


So Sunday after Church down came the other side of the living room wall.


More dust.


But also way more light!
The kids are loving the chaos and seeing Daddy use all the mysterious contents of his tool box.
Bella is constantly concerned about the house falling down.
Daniel has taken to trying to "break" all other walls in the house as Tommy tells him he isn't that stwong yet.

Hopefully this weekend will be less dusty and involve some painting!
One Birthday down and one to go!

And I need to clean!
We have a little birthday bash for our two March girls in just over a week!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Dear Vivi,

You are one year old today.
 How it has flown past me. I feel as though I am always saying that but it is true.

Your Aunt Kristin says we got an extra day of you being a baby because of leap year.

 Time is a funny thing isn't it.
There really is no such thing as extra is there?

I haven't put a moments work into your "first year scrapbook".
Your sisters was done by her birthday.
Even Tommys was almost done.
At least Daniels is started.

But it is not that I love you less. And you are not deprived of attention being number four.
 In fact you get so much from your siblings its often overwhelming.


No my darling you are actually benefiting from your place as the youngest.

You have the luxury of my time. I have found its value now.
I have watched three of my babies first years scream by me at an alarming rate.

I have blinked and found myself graced with a five year old ballerina,
or a four year old with a cellphone where a sleepy newborn once was.


I simply have no time to waste. For it belongs to you and your sister and brothers.
I must spend it wisely for your sake.... teaching, playing, cuddling.
And for my own sake as well, so I will not look back with regrets about these moments.

Vivi... what a joy you are to me.
You seem to fill this perfect  role in our family.
 How can your presence be so strong in this house when you have only been here a year.
When you hardly talk. Barely walk.
I melt when you do say Mama, or Dada or kiss. Your three favorite words right now.
And I could swear that you are trying to say Bella, you are so in love with her and your brothers.


Your spirit seems to so fit your name. Do we grow into our names?
Does a name speak something over us at birth... a truth or blessing that will be ours?


 You seem as thought you fit your name more than most...
 filled to the top with life and sweetness.


On more than a few hard days I will find myself heading in the direction of your smile.
Like magic it can help cure anything.


I can't believe you started walking at eleven months.
You are clearly here to break records and show what you got...


Even your brother Daniel who is the original wild child didn't start till fourteen.

 I know that's late but it is normal for us and our abnormal family.
I think you must know you have big things to do.

Places to go.
Adventures to be had.
Life to live.

Remember baby....  “It's not what the world holds for you. It's what you bring to it.”
~LM Montgomery 


My beautiful bright eyed daughter.
May the years ahead be as sweet as you and as filled with joy and wonder as this first one has been....