Sunday, December 23, 2012

Making a list...

Hall's decked... check.

Attend adorable Christmas recital.... burst with pride.... check

Make obscene amounts of cookies... check.
Break expensive marble rolling pin handle moments after telling Bella it will be hers one day.... check.

Keep track of insane sugared up toddler.... mostly check. 

Have first grader address Christmas cards... call it "school work"..... Check!

Do actual school also... Check

Play in the snow till it hurts... Check

Make memories.
Share laughter.
Celebrate and savor childhood... Check.


Friday, December 14, 2012


I sit in the glow of the Christmas tree and candlelights.
I should be watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and meditating on that sentiment....
Instead I am watch the news and wondering why God allows this sort of tragedy.
Yesterday (in a fit of frustration) I was questioning why I don't send Isabella and Tommy to school.
Wouldn't they learn faster? Wouldn't it be easier on me and Tom... financially, time wise?

Today I am holding them close and thanking God that I can cuddle them through there reading lesson on Monday morning.

There are no right answers.
There are no easy choices.
But there is the clear message tonight to hold tight to your children and be thankful for the right now that you have with them. Send them to school on Monday or don't... but hold them close tonight. 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Three Years, Five Years... the blink of an eye...

I started blogging three long.... llllooonnnngggg years ago.
It was Tommy's second birthday.

Today I kissed his five year old self goodnight.
I need a whole bottle of wine and a box of tissues to process that thought. 

Tomorrow he will become a teenager.
Next week he'll be learning to drive.
And before I know it his son will be five.
And I will look back at pictures of these days.
I am sure there will be sadness at what is past 
But I will see me in him and him in me and the future in it all.
The beautiful, blessed, bright future.

Where there maybe things beyond my control.
Where there will certainly be heartache...
 But where I am also sure I will find laughter.
I will laugh again as I laughed tonight while Bella said "Merry Chissssmasss!" with no front teeth.

I will laugh at Vivian bouncing and giggling on my knees... or her kids anyway.

I will laugh at Daniel and the whole role of toilet paper his son unrolled on the floor....

I will laugh with my husband about all our little inside jokes and about nothing and everything.

I will laugh at the days to come.... and hopefully through them too.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Tis the Season for the Gimme Gimme's

It was a bad day today.
We have had some pretty sick kids all week. Daniel was especially needy for the last four days.
He finally turned a corner yesterday and of course that is when Vivi decided it was her turn to channel her inner diva.

 I think it is teeth.... I always think its teeth... its not teeth she is just high strung.

Tom sensing my stress this morning sent me off to the grocery store by myself.
But just as I was leaving Bella begged to come.
I have been feeling like she is getting neglected by me lately. She is the right hand around here.
For example.... yesterday Vivi decided to finger paint with poo and I asked Bella to watch her in the tub for a minute while I went to assess the damage done in the playpen. By the time I came back she had washed her hair and managed not to send her into a screaming fit doing it.... she is a better mother than me.

 how demoralizing... how convenient....

Anyway I said yes to her request to come. And the gimme gimme's started in the car and continued through the whole long annoying trip. She has had a lot of spending cash lately and she has been used to being able to get a toy every few weeks with the few dollars she gets from random things.

I felt like all I did the whole time was say no and feel like a hypocrite. How can I teach her gratitude when I know I don't grasp the concept myself?

 So that is the question... and the goal of this holiday season. How to teach gratitude to the kids who circled EVERYTHING in the toy catalog.

How to make Daniel understand when he says "I just want everything that I want."
How to make Tommy quit whining when he doesn't get his way.
How to get Vivi to stop growling at everyone and taking everything that strikes her fancy.

How do I teach the thing I forget all the time... the difference between need and want?

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Our whole summer in one post...

This summer we had our first dance recital. Hopefully not our last. It was adorable.

We swam and ran through sprinklers and got our first slip n slide... then our second when the first was ripped to shreds. Then the racing one when it went on sale. And when we got tired of the sun we go messy with markers and scissors and glue and made whatever we could think of.

All the Mommy's and cousins made a trip to the zoo with Grammy. This is me and some of the littles.

We also made our annual trip to Idlewild and the Farm Show.... and I had my annual mini breakdown on the ferris wheel.... Only this time I was justified because a storm was rolling in and I could see lightening. The height alone would do it though.

So there is our summer in a nut shell. Just in time for the holiday's. Oh yes and on last thing..

                                                      Vivian spent her summer growing hair.

Here she is in March...

And here she is now... with her mullet.

Now that I am caught up hopefully I can keep up!

Friday, September 28, 2012


Each morning I am awakened multiple times by various people and animals.

First it is the baby crying at two a.m because she caught her leg in the crib.
Then it is the six year old at four a.m. telling me her hamster is keeping her up running in her wheel.
Did you know hamsters are nocturnal?
We only see her about twenty minutes a day while we eat breakfast....
or at four a.m...
smelly useless thing.

Then is is the husbands alarm at five thirty... five forty five.... six... six fifteen.....

and I don't dare complain because HE is the one who has to get up... not me.
I am just the only one who hears the alarm because I never got into the blessed deep sleep he did.

Well that isn't true either... often the three year old hears the alarm and takes that as his cue to come take Dad's place in bed. He likes to sleep sideways or ask constantly if its morning yet.
When he has had enough he pulls the "I need to go potty!" card and gets me out of bed way too early.

Some mornings though I just turn on the tv and let his brain turn to mush while I try to get twenty more minutes.

Soon however there are two kids and then three..... and then the arguments about who gets to cuddle on either side of me starts.
 I am very popular and I have unfortunately not evolved yet into my roll as a mother of four.
I still only have two arms.
 I am writing a book to refute Darwin's theory based on this fact....
that is what has been keeping me from blogging.

 That and a lack of sleep and Vivian's horrifying toddler-hood and homeschooling and general laziness. But I'm back... I hope... I'll try... oh well.

Is anybody still out there?

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Dear Daniel,

Oh my dear, sweet, crazy, funny, wonderful Daniel....
You wait for my attention so so much. It's just not fair.
Here we are SEVEN days past your birthday and I have still not written to you.
I cannot believe you are three years and one week old.

I did try you know.
I have started this at least three times and gotten sidelined each time.
On my first try I even interviewed you. It was adorable... until you put your little foot up on my laptop and tapped the escape key.... bye bye adorableness.
I could only be upset a minute though. It was just so very "Daniel" of you.

You my sweet little man are something else. Your father and I say to each other often how very funny you are lately. We think God gave you the funny in the midst of the mischievousness so we wouldn't
get beyond our limits with you.

Just when I think you have taken me to the limit of my patience you say something hilarious without really meaning to and I can't help but smile again.

Who are you at three?
You are the one who asks for gummi bears day and night and ten times more than anyone else.
You are the one who random strangers smile at most in the grocery store.
There is just a sparkle in your smile....

You are the boy who wants nothing more than to go anywhere in Dad's truck.
You tell Daddy a lot how much you miss him while he is at work.
You love going to the garage with him on a Saturday.
You are the sweet voice at naptime asking "Mommy, can you just lay with me for a couple minutes?".
You are in love with Darth Vader and all things star wars.
You get mad when people call you "Danny" and you angrily correct them. 

You sing the spiderman theme constantly... it is the most adorable thing anyone has heard.
You try to tell people you are four because you want to be like Tommy.

You think a chainsaw is called a rotary scalpel.... Thanks to Uncle Nathan.
You very often say, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!???!?.... Um.... I love you."

And my heart bursts. I love you so so so much. Too much for words baby.
I wish I was the one to say it first when that happens.
I get mad at myself for being so busy while you try to get my attention.
I feel bad for taking seven extra days to write this to you.
I don't love you less because it took so long you know. I was just busy with you.
Doing your laundry and cooking your meals... but also swimming, going to the library,
wandering the zoo, playing in the sandbox....
and as tired and distracted as I feel tonight I just had to sit down and say all this and tell you...
I can't wait to be busy with you again tomorrow and everyday of this third wonder filled year.
I love you my little man. 

Friday, June 8, 2012

Crazy, Lazy, Living.

I simply can't write when I am not feeling it... and I just plain haven't been feeling it.
I am still not really so this post is going to be a lot of pictures.

what we have done for most of the last month.... play, swim, nap, snack, library, play, swim, movies, movies, movies, nap, play.... all while we wait for Daddy to get home.

Tommy has been on puzzle overload. He picks this over toys in the store.... weirdo.
Then he does them over and over and over.

Wrestling is another big thing here lately. I often find myself screaming "HANDS OFF!"
Or at least I make them go to their rooms and close the doors. If I can't hear it its not happening.

One thing I have found that can keep Vivi out of trouble is the baby pool... excecpt everytime she gets her tiny terrorist hands on one of those foam guns she bites a huge chunk out of it.
I follow her around the card prying leaves and twigs out of her hands and IF I am to late her mouth.
The girl has issues. Can't imagine where she gets it from.

I do however know where this one gets her love of lounging.... wink wink.

When I saw this picture I saw me written all over it... he is soooo fed up with being told to go potty.
He just has better things to do. Like poo in the corner while he plays with his tractors.

I am also noticing I have a ton of pictures of Vivi lately. Maybe cause I feel guilty not having her baby book even started I guess.... plus did I mention if I take my eyes off her she will eat anything within reach???

Last but not least the cutest thing ever...
I hate to correct her.... I would be fine with it if she spelled like this forever.
It is painfully cute.... sigh.

Hopefully I will be back in less than a month... but no promises.
 Life around here is either crazy or lazy.