Monday, January 17, 2011

Pink or Blue?

I'm trying to be patient but I can't.
I'm nesting, and that is on top of my normal need to be organized.

My Grandmother was an incessant "putter-er"
I got it from her I think.

The woman simply could not sit still. 
She would do all the dishes in the house after Thanksgiving dinner, 
wipe down the counters,
turn off the kitchen lights... 
and then someone would bring in one more dish and she NEEDED to wash it right then...
and wipe the counters again after.
I never understood it until I became a wife and mother.
Now my puttering gene has surfaced.

I was gonna just leave it to someone else to wash whichever box of baby clothes I needed.
Specifically my sister in law had offered.
 the one on the left is half of my 0-3 month boys clothes
the ones on the right are the girl... obviously... o-3 and some of the 3-6.
What can I say? Girl clothes are cuter....
I was even going to go as far as buying a neutral outfit to bring this little one home in.

Alas...I found myself at the mercy of my genetics and my need to nest
So I decided to just wash a few of each kind of sleeper, and a going home outfit.
 This one was Bella's...
and this was the boy's... it could use a little oxy-clean.
My kids are serious projectile pukers... I've gotten used to it.

Once the practical was out of the way I started day dreaming...
about girl stuff again.
Is it wrong to have a preference?
I don't think so.
But now I'm trying to imagine that this baby is a boy and he is reading this in about 16 years,
will he feel like it was wrong that we had hoped he would be a girl?
But I doubt it... because if we have done thing right he will never have felt any less than treasured beyond reason.

I want a girl because I have a sister who is my best friend and I want that for Bella.
Don't misunderstand, Bella's brothers couldn't be anymore in love with her, and she dotes on them.
But who will she paint her nails with?
Talk about boys with?
Complain about cramps to?
Watch chick flicks with?
Play barbies with?
Fight with for no real reason?
I know she'll fight with me by the way. I'm just hoping to share that burden.

I want a girl because I see my boys together and I love that they have a built in best friend for life.

On a more shallow note I want a girl because of all those cute clothes I haven't seen in five long years.

I would hope that it is obvious that more than that I want a happy healthy baby,
I want what God has chosen for our family.
We didn't find out the gender this time because we thought a surprise would be fun,
but we also knew that the moment they placed that baby in our arms any disappointment we may have felt back at that twenty week ultrasound will be crushed and forgotten under the weight of so much joy.

“A baby will make love stronger,
days shorter, 
nights longer,
bankroll smaller,
home happier, 
clothes shabbier, 
the past forgotten,
and the future worth living for”