Saturday, January 8, 2011

You Know its Bad When...


I started by just vacuuming the living room because Tommy did a little dance on the goldfish crackers Daniel had dumped out.

Then I go motivated and lazy all at once and decided just to vacuum the hardwood in the kitchen and dining room because it was starting to look scary dirty and sweeping with a broom seemed just exhausting and way to hard.

Then I realized the chopping block in the kitchen was covered in crumbs anyway and instead of stopping to wipe them off I decided to simply use the vacuum attachment....

I vacuumed my counter tops people.
Don't judge me... I was once normal like you... oh how far I have fallen.

A little while later I spotted Daniel playing with a toy from Bella's new doctor kit.
It was a little syringe... and he had it in his mouth.
Rather than get up I sat and tried to decide if it would or would not fit down his throat.
I determined it probably wouldn't do more than gag him because the end was big enough to keep him from choking or swallowing it and I could use that to pull it out.

I decided that a toy that could hurt but not seriously injure him was worth the risk... 
because he was being quiet...
sad but true.

The next day I took the kids up to my room to put away some laundry and generally clean up.
I took everything I could up with me but about mid clean up I needed a cold drink and a garbage bag.
I really really didn't want to carry Daniel back down the stairs with me... he can do it himself but he wouldn't go willingly with Bella and Tommy still playing on my bed and I didn't trust him up there without me for any length of time.
At the time I was considering what to do he was playing with Jack in his cage, crawling in and out.
I will admit I briefly considered shutting him in it for just a minute...
Then I pictured it somehow going badly... finger stuck in bars, head scratched on sharp metal.
and what the news anchors on channel eleven would sound like reporting it....

I think I make my best parenting decisions this way.
I say to myself... what would I think if I heard about this on the news...

 So you'll be happy to know I choose the more sensible course of action...
 I put him on some pillows in front of the TV...
and instructed Isabella to "gently" tackle him if he tried to get up.
Imagine her confusion since I spent the previous hours barking at her to stop touching him. 

There was minimal screaming, no injuries,
and I got my drink without having to drag an angry thirty pound toddler down the stairs on top of my huge belly.

So what have we learned?

You don't want to eat in my kitchen right now?

I'm lazy to the point of endangering the children's welfare?

A dogs cage is not a play pen?

A four year old can be a short term babysitter, 
if you give her the power to tackle the child in her care? 

Yes... but no.... I would say the real take away is a mommy's gotta do what a mommy's gotta do.