Five short years ago Isabella came into our lives and made "us" a family.
As I write this and see Vivian now here beside me I find myself marveling that just yesterday Bella was this tiny, new and helpless.
She slept in this Bassinet
She wore this yellow sleeper with the pink trim.
That was her pink and purple binky.
I bought her that blanket for her first Christmas.
And now her babyhood is a memory.
I find it harder to complain about dinner time fussiness and midnight feedings in light of the milestone we have reached today.... our first "baby" is five.
I blinked and she is five.
She doesn't need me to lift her into the car,
she can even buckle herself now.
She can get her own snacks.
She gets dressed by herself in the morning, and puts herself in her PJ's at night.
She isn't a baby anymore, she isn't a toddler... she is barely a preschooler.
We will start Kindergarten this fall.
The other day I came home with just the boys, she stayed with Nana...
and it was then I realized how much she helps me,
keep an eye on Daniel...
Run and let the dog out...
go and grab a diaper...
get Tommy's milk out of the fridge....
I wonder where five more years will take us.
What will our lives look like then?
A ten year old, an eight year old, a seven year old... and another five year old princess.
Certainly five years ago I didn't imagine we would be here with four blessings making a constant noise and mess. But there is no place else I'd rather be...
ok, maybe a spa once a month or so... but you know what I mean.
And the amazing thing that I've begun to understand after five years of motherhood is that I need to stop looking ahead. Tomorrow, next week, next year... it will be here in no time.
I need to stop looking ahead and start looking around
I'm going to really watch tomorrow, how she looks when she sleepily crawls into my bed at sunrise.
How she plays with her brothers.
How she holds her new sister.
How she squeals when Daddy gets home, and how her eyes will light up when he hands her a gift.
And last but not least... how she looks in the glow of five candles on a birthday cake.
“Time is free, but it's priceless.
You can't own it, but you can use it.
You can't keep it, but you can spend it.
Once you've lost it... you can never get it back.”