Friday, April 9, 2010

Manic at McDonald's

Fast food is bad for you physically but did you know that it can also be bad for you mentally?

Drive-thru's make me twitch.
Even on a good day, it never fails that you pull out and they have forgotten something. 
Heaven forbid we forget that 35 cent piece of junk that will inevitably cause more fights than anything they have ever gotten from an actual toy store....

that will get broken or lost in the first 48 hours we own it causing a constant stream of questions about its location, and a need to verify whose toy is it that remains??? Since they are usually identical....

 that if it survives our home beyond the first night will somehow end up on the path between my bed and the bathroom, for the sole purpose of causing me mind numbing pain as I stumble through the dark at 3 am.

But this is not what made me crazy just a few days ago at the drive-thru.
They remembered everything...

"What then was it that caused you such mental anguish?" you say...

Allow me to set the scene first.
It was our big shopping day, and I needed to take all the kids with me. So first we hit Aldi's, then Walmart.
I made that sound simple but in reality it took 3 and a half hours, one diaper change, one bottle, and two extra strength Tylenol for me.
And my mom was helping for part of the time!
I have done it by myself before...
I want credit for that...
and I don't want to talk about it anymore...
 my therapist says it could take years to recover from the trauma and I shouldn't rush myself...

The kids ate lunch at Walmart and when we headed home I realized it was after lunch and I had so many bags to unpack it could take me until dinner time.
I thought I'd go through McDonalds and get something to eat as I drove. So I could get right to work when I got home.

I waved a lady on ahead of me as I left one of the two order box's.
Big mistake.
There are lots of people in front of us, plenty of time to count her money... but no,
she waits until the other cars are gone and its her turn and she sits about two feet back from the window and counts her change... for a good minute or two!!!
I was admittedly tired.... but this was rude.
Still I waited,
finally she pulled up and paid... she starts to pull ahead so I can go.... plenty of room...
then she stops... for no reason I can see, and she is just far enough back that I can just barley not get up to the window to pay...
Then I see that she is sorting and putting away her money.
At this point I am praying for her air bag to suddenly deploy... I want justice.
So she finally moves up... I pay... move up...
Its her turn.... she moves up....sooooo slowly...

Ok... then she gets her order.
One coffee.
I almost cried.
She either has a very complicated cup holder or she was taking the time to put in cream and sugar right then and there.
Finally she begins to move, and once again to my complete disbelief she stops again!
The hood of my car is next to the pick up window... and I can't go any farther
I am finished
indigent at this woman's lack of forethought and manners.
So with out thinking I lay on the horn....
and scare the living daylights out of the poor girl at the window
and the girl at the drink machine,
and the boy beside them.
The girl at the window actually shreiked!
"uh... what was that you just said about forethought... and manners?"

Not now I'm telling a story.

She left, I pulled up and began to explain and apologize, and the girl said,
"don't worry about it, we can't stand her either!"
and the boy behind her actually thanked me....

I don't know what the moral is here....
If you are me the moral is stop eating fast food or you will end up fat and crazy....(er)
If you are the woman i am writing about its, check your rear view mirror!
... and don't bother going to the drive-thru for one coffee!
Do you know how many places you can get a free coffee without holding me up?? Do you??
And they don't like you either... what if they spit in it!?

If you work at McDonald's the moral is wear ear plugs.