The house is quiet,
The only sounds are my music playing softly
Just like a star cross my sky...
Just like an angel off the page,
you have appeared to my life...
feel like I'll never be the same.
Just like a song to my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
only to love you....
Every time I hear that I think of my angels....
No one is screaming or hitting anyone.
No one is pouring goldfish crumbs on the couch right after I put away the vacuum.
They are angels again until eight am... God willing.
Jack is making weird squeaking noises in his cage behind me.
Barking with his mouth closed and dreaming about something.
Must be good because in reality I think I've heard him bark about three times....
I can hear the shower running in the distance
and in a few minute Tom will come tell me to come to bed to watch a movie....
The kids are all tucked in and freshly bathed.... for a change...
Why is it so hard to find the energy to give them all a bath at the end of the day?
Bella will smell like lavender in the morning when she comes to snuggle in my bed at the first sign of dawn.
Every night its the same questions as I try to back out the door saying "I love you" and "Goodnight baby"
over and over....
"When will you go to bed?"
"Will you leave the light on?"
"I always do sweetie."
"Can I come cuddle with you when its light?"
"Of course you can baby."
And some nights there are random other questions...
" How many sleeps till campin?"
"Can we go somewhere tomorrow?"
"Is Sheba still in heaven? I miss her mama."
"When the baby comes out of your belly can I teach her to ride a bike?"
"When is Santa gonna be back at the mall?"
"Why can't we take our TV campin? I'm gonna miss Elmo."
This is a snapshot of my evenings right now.... Soon they will shift and change again.
The new baby will come, routines will change.
They will grow and learn and there questions will change.
They will get more complicated I'm sure.
And I'll quickly forget the routine that right now I can recite to our babysitters off by heart.
"Tommy and Daniel need there blankets and binkies....
Bella will want a girl blanket... not one of the boys.
She will ask for water, only give her half a cup.
Let them each have a turn to pray.
Put Daniel down a half hour before them...
but let them kiss him goodnight or they will be sad they missed it.
Tell her she can come cuddle with me in the morning,
I'll be in my bed when she wakes up... and I'll kiss her before I go to sleep"
I don't want to forget, so I'm writing down what seems mundane to everyone but me and their Daddy.
And maybe someday they will enjoy knowing what it was like when they were little.
I'm sad these days will pass but I remember a time when Bella was too little to get up and come find me in my bed for a morning cuddle, and now I can't imagine her not coming....
its one of my favorite times of our day.
I'm looking forward to the day when we have four warm little bodies snuggled in our bed,
smelling like lavender and happiness itself as the sun slowly wakes us.