Monday, August 23, 2010

This is What a Nervous Breakdown looks like.....

I am listening to my freshly bathed, sweet smelling, pajama clad babies in the living room 
quietly watching Cailou.
Cailou is asking his mommy when its going to snow, she sweetly says 
"soon.... do you want to bake some cookies while we wait?"
So they bake, then the snow starts.... Cailou wants to go outside... mommy says joyfully "of course!"

I hate Cailou's mommy today.
She is giving me a complex.....

Here I sit at the computer after one of the most challenging days of my life... ever.

Today when the kids asked me about the rain stopping or starting for the millionth time 
I did not respond in a manner that conveyed love... but rather exasperation and annoyance.
 I lost my temper about a thousand times today when they forgot to share...
or started screaming in unison just for fun....
or hurt themselves wrestling on the couch after I told them to stop.
Actually that last one really gave me a strange kind of smug satisfaction.... I was that fed up.
There was zero sympathy but don't worry I faked it in between the "I told you so's"
As I write this I am contemplating the dangers of eating raw cookie dough when pregnant because I lazily bought the pre-made stuff and now I don't even have it in me to put in on a cookie sheet and bake it.
I have reached a new low....

What brought me here? 
The baby got up early,
both boys wet out of their diapers and the beds needed stripped and cleaned.
Isabella had an upset stomach and our bathroom required lots of lysol... twice.
We were out of milk and bread so a trip to the store was iminent.
The baby was cranky (from getting up to early) so we had to wait to go shopping.
I realized during morning nap that it was raining in my open car windows.
I called my sister for emergency back up and she mercifully let me go to the store alone.
I braved walmart..... with a wet butt.
the woman in the check out line in front of me had a disney character tattooed on her neck
I once again question the sanity of society at large.
I go to the McDonald's drive thru... always a treat.
Get home... feed kids and sister, who have torn the house apart.
Its OK it was so worth it.
Get kids to nap late after much screaming.
Nap is cut short for various reasons involving Isabella.
Make a nice supper for Tom and the kids since he should be home early for the first time in a while.
In the end the kids and I eat alone and he is actually over and hour later than the normal time.
That would be a half hour before bedtime.

I will now go read my bible and eat cookies (that will be baked) and try to take deep breathes.
Hopefully the feeling of seething hatred for Cailou's constantly patient loving and attentive mommy will pass.

If not I will try to picture her at her worst... 
in labor swearing at anyone who is in earshot.
Fighting with her husband over bills and work schedules.
Telling everyone its "breakfast for dinner"... get your own cereal.... pop tarts if your feeling fancy.
Eating raw cooking dough crying in the bathtub....

Not that I have ever done any of those things.


Mama Spud said...

She's looking at the camera!!

Yeah, I've never cried in the bathtub either... I will have to try the cookie dough though...

I'm glad you have your sister to help you. Wish I could help! <3

Sarah said...

Oh Cailou is so dangerous!!! My niece is obsessed. And last time I babysat, it resulted in a "I don't want DINNY mooviee! CAILOU!!!"
Not fun explaining to a 2 and a half year old why Aunt Sarah doesn't have Cailou on the TV. (just basic channels)
Really hoping tomorrow is better for you!