Friday, April 30, 2010

Fat Friday..., sucess is sweet.

I almost forgot it was Friday...

My Stats:
Starting Weight: 265.6
Lost this Week: -5.2
Lost Total: 34.4
Current Weight: 231.2

Yay!!! I'm not where I was but I'm back in the right direction...
I thought I might have a big loss this week since I had a big gain and was basically totally off the plan for over a month... but five pounds was bigger than I dared to dream!

And you know what... I didn't feel deprived.
I went out to eat.
I had some kind of Chocolate or treat EVERY DAY!
I had Ice cream cake, and birthday cake.
I even had a 17 point meal at Houlihan's 


And I worked out too. 
four times!
I really want this again...
Really really really want it.

And I'm going to do it... 
I almost can't wait to weigh in next week.. I'm not expecting another big loss.
But I know that I can and will do this again for the first time in a long time, 
And that feels better than words can say.

The Boys are Back in Town

Today we had a play date with Aunt "B" and the boys!
I like saying "Aunt B".... it sounds so Mayberry :)

 AJ and Tommy are three months apart, 

The twins and Isabella are 36 hours apart.
It was a busy two days, especially for my mother in law.

I didn't get a picture of just the three of them today, but here they are just at over a year old.
Just imagine them taller and thinner... the boys have less hair now.... Bella has more, finally.
People always think they are triplets.
 Can't imagine why.

 This was the time out chair... although I don't think this one was in trouble at this particular time.

 parts of the tree house were everywhere.
So we gave them sidewalk chalk, 
made sure all the rusty nails were hammered down, and let them go to town.

"say cheese guys.... TS... quit making that face...."
 "Bella.... look at the camera.... TS! quit making that face!"

 "JACK... Move!!! don't stick out your tongues!!! TS.... Quit making that face!!"
 "oh forget it"
 "I can't get the chalk"

 Notice the forehead.

 Bella is not a climber... but her "boys" are.... TS to the rescue.

 about every five minutes one of them would bring us a "flower"
 She is nearly incapable of looking at the camera.... if you see a shot where she is?
It was most likely an accident. 

 And here is how we did lunch... because we are lazy hard-working mommies who deserve a break!

 twenty-five or so chicken nuggets on a large plate... every man for himself

 lovely sweetheart, very ladylike.

 Oh.... AJ.... no no no.... see his brother? That look is for his mom, he is delighted...
See Tommy? He is shocked.
The twins and AJ, are rough and tumble Boys with a capital B.
Tommy is all boy also... but he is a boy being raised by a big sister.
Hence he is a little neater.

And yes I'm helping raise him but you can give Bella all the credit for his love of dresses and high heels.

Someday he'll be in therapy because of this picture.....
 AJ looks bored doesn't he? His face is cracking me up.

 Here is the aftermath.... we learned something important today, 
they eat much better when there is only one plate.
I'm sure a psychologist could explain it better, but basically I think they were afraid of starvation.
They unconsciously did the math...  
one plate, five of us... I better eat!!!
It was all very discovery channel.
Like when five lions are eating one gazelle.

Yes they have all seen the Lion King.

Oh.... Daniel was here too... eating, sleeping... you know the usual.

 Tickle Tickle!

And since it was a warm one... Popsicle all around!

 ALL around...
on the their legs, 
on the chair, 
on the floor,
Later I found out Jacks hair was dyed pink in spots....
I didn't look to close... it could be chalk... either way.

It was a good day...
we need more days like this one...
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go pass out on my bed.... until Monday....


I have tried and tried to write what I'm feeling today and this is it. 
I didn't write it but it is what I'm trying to say....
it's what I'm screaming in my head.
it's what I'm clinging to for dear life.
Its what I'm praying for everyone I know to grasp and cling too.

"Hope Now"
If everything comes down to love,
Then just what am I afraid of?
When I call out Your name, something awakes in my soul
How quickly i forget I'm Yours.

I am not my own, I've been carried by You... all my life.
Everything rides on hope now.
Everything rides on faith somehow.
When the world has broken me down, 
This Love sets me Free.

When my life is like a storm, 
Rising waters, 
All I want is the shore.
Say I'll be Ok, 
make it through the rain, 
You are my shelter from the storm.

And everything rides on hope now, 
and everything rides on faith somehow, 
when the world has broken me down 
this Love sets me Free.

You've become my hearts desire, 
I will sing Your praises higher.
cause Your Love sets me Free.

I'm not my own... I've been carried by You
all my life.

~Addison Road

Romans 5:3-4 
we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Psalm 62:5-6
 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Obligatory... "Why I Blog" Post

Why am I blogging? I think every blog I read has this post.
So here is my answer to that.
I like the sense of community, I like when people relate to me.
It makes me feel normal... I didn't claim to be normal, but its nice to fool myself sometimes.

I want people to understand me better. I want to understand myself better.

I love to speak my mind and sometimes I talk before I think.... 
and its harder to type before I think... 
I just can't type that fast..
so at least this way I have to press "enter" before my verbal vomit becomes public.
I think maybe I might have something worthwhile to say...and if I don't??
I know that Jesus does so I will just point you to Him every so often.
I want a record of these days and moments with my family, I am told they go by quickly.
I love to write but I don't have the energy to do it for myself alone, 
knowing you are reading this keeps me going.

I want to be famous.... seriously.... 
and rich of course!
I don't think this will ever lead to that but a girl can dream right?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Men at Work, Dogs in Therapy....

I have no wisdom to spout here today, no funny stories, no energy for anything really.
I am having a weird and fairly unproductive day.
I can't seem to get ahead of the housework anymore, 
This has been the norm practically since Daniel was born. He is a sweet "easy" baby... but he is a baby.
So we have more to do... less time to do it in... and I am tired.
Bone weary.
And if I'm tired then Tom must be near death.
The man never stops working! He always has something he needs to be doing lately and so tonight I'm on my own with the little ones, probably until Letterman comes on.
I'm glad he is a hard worker though... I'm even more glad when he is hard at work right outside my kitchen window where I can stare at him like a thirteen year old who is in love for the first time...

 I'm so glad he doesn't wear a suit to work everyday... this is a way better look in my opinion.
 When I took this picture I told him it was the "money shot"... I love to make him blush by telling him I"m going to blog about him!

So the tree house is progressing slowly, it has been unseasonably cold the last few days, and Tom has been busy, but this weekend looks promising.
When i say "promising" I mean warm enough to sit outside and watch him work all day...
after he lets me sleep in on Saturday.... 
Are you reading this baby??? 
Plleeaaasseee??? Just till ten thirty?

We have been enjoying the great indoors too. Camping out between the boys cribs.
And I am brightening up the cold cloudy weather with my happy toes.
They make me disproportionately happy.....
Here are some more pictures of the kids "campin" without my freakishly long toes in the way.
Ahhh poor Jack...
I think he need to get outside more than the average pup. I read that boxers get destructive if they don't get enough attention....
remember the snow white massacre?
Well in the last few days he has eaten  her friend sleeping beauty, 
the back legs of a large plastic grasshopper, 
a toy frog,
a stuffed elephants trunk,
an earring,
a barbie hairbrush,
an Easter egg filled with bubble stuff...
and a partridge in a pear tree.....

See!? ... this is why I blog... now that I wrote it out like that I'm not nearly as angry...
But still this has to stop!
I bought those toys for my children to destroy... not my dog.
Also I'm afraid if he continues down this path of destruction and crime
I will have to hide Isabella's favorite Snow White dress...
Does anyone else think he is looking at her like she is dinner?

Does anyone know the number of a good Doggy therapist?

And I guess I lied... I did have a funny story after all.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Brought to you by The Letter G and the Number 3!

I was having a bit of a rough time on Sunday.
I am overwhelmed by all the things we have going on lately, 
seems like every free moment gets taken up with something... even when it's not work,
parties, picnics, birthday's, weddings, showers.
 I love social things... I just love sitting at home watching my kids play while I'm talking to my husband too.

Also I can never find anything to wear when we have to go out.

So after nap and dinner on Sunday evening Tom sent me to the store alone.
The man knows me (Thank you God for such a husband) ... 
retail therapy is my thing, even if it was just for some milk and bread.
But he wisely told me to look through the clothes as well, get a new top or something.

I have a slight fear of shopping by myself as much as I enjoy it, I always go overboard.
He gives me a twenty and I use the debit card for ten more.
 You know.... there is always just one more thing that will complete me
and make everything right with the world.

A few months ago I bought a couple things to add to some other outfits.
In particular I found an awesome purple cardigan that was on clearance... 
I know it wasn't more than eight bucks.
I really wanted it in green more but that color was still full price at twenty and even I... 
the queen of wasting money... couldn't do it

Now every time I try to get dressed I think of that green cardigan and how it would be perfect with this or that or the next thing, and I regret not buying it.

Last night.... looking through a rack of three dollar stuff, nothing looks too promising.
not just on the rack but in the week ahead...

the weather stinks (no outdoor projects getting done), 

the other car needs fixed (I mean like ten things need fixed all at once),

the kids need to get to the dentist (and my goodness they Hate the dentist),

the dog needs to go to the vet,

the list goes on... and gets deeper and more personal than I can share.
and I get sucked down further into worry and self pity.

God don't you care!? 
I am so tired.... I miss my husband.
Ok... I know you care... but could I get a break please?

My break came right then.... 
One green sweater left, wedged in there where no one could see it.
The green sweater I had to pass up before, now three dollars.

Or twelve quarters...
Or less than a happy meal...
(with none of the irritation of the drive-thru!)

This may seem silly too you, 
It sure seems silly to me.
But for that moment I  knew that God cared and he had shown me in a way only He and I could understand.
I love it when Gods love for me is immediate and personal and silly.
And I love my green sweater too.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Random stuff.... because I attacked the laundry today and my brain is mush.

I have so many random things going through my head today... this is going to be disorganized... like my closets.

First, Today is Kristin's Birthday.

Did you know God has a sense of humor?

When I first met Kristin I unfortunately believed her to be a self righteous, annoying Christian....
(Christian was bad thing in my opinion... by the way.) 
I have grown up, a lot... become a Christian... and she is now one of my best friends and my sister.

(Just for the record she grew up a bit too... but I did have further to go to meet in the middle... anyway.)

I have learned from her and leaned on her so much over the last eight years.... 
Thanks for being born Kris!

Daniel has got another tooth! I found it this morning.
That makes the score:
Bottom- 3
Top- 0

Sorry sweetie... no steak just yet.

Tommy... well, nothing new with him.... still just plain adorable.

Bella too... she just finished her first "big kid class" at church.
It had a detective theme.
(... I'm still not sure I even want to show you this...)
I keep finding these around the house and I get a little startled thinking I've seen a mouse.

 The weather has been beautiful for this time of year... so we can use the fireplace Tom built last year.
It's not done yet, obviously... but hopefully by June it will be pretty and polished!

But of course we can't just have one project going on... we have to have at least ten.
So here is the next big thing at our house...
Daddy is building a tree house! 
To remind us each time we go out to play, or look out the window that we are loved... 
in an extravagant way :) He has big plans for this thing.

While I wasn't looking he somehow lifted that platform up there BY HIMSELF.
He salvaged it from a deck they tore off a house and it was already put together... so he left it that way.
I'm disappointed and a little relieved that I missed it. I would have been freaking out, and probably tried to "help" and then I would have made him somehow hurt himself.
He tried to explain how he did it to me but I'm not the brightest crayon in the box 
so I gave up trying to picture it.
We have moved this project to Top priority because these two are pretty anxious.

I'll show you more when its done, probably a week or two!
Happy Weekend!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Fat Friday... Failure and Forever.

I have just looked back over my "Fat Friday" entries.
I only went back three but I didn't find the last time I weighed-in.
I've stepped on my mom's scale at her house but I haven't been to a meeting in a while.

Life, illness, car's breaking down... all excuses when you get down to it... I should have tried harder.
I thought I was maintaining, maybe I gained a pound or two.
I wasn't counting points, not exercising either.
And slowly but surely over the last 20 days or so I have gone back to my old habits...
they die hard you know.

My Stats:
Starting Weight: 265.6
Lowest Weight: 228
Gained Back: +7.2
Current Weight: 236.4

Yes you read that right.... Gained Seven Pounds.

Its not easy to write this.
I usually weigh-in at my Thursday morning meeting, but this week I went on Wednesday because I knew once again Thursday wouldn't work and I was getting tired of the excuses... 
I knew I had gained, 
I knew I needed the wake up call, 
I knew I needed to get back on track.
 I just didn't think I had gained so much.
In retrospect I can see exactly what I did to get me here.

So since Wednesday I've been trying to decided what i would say here, and last night Tom gave me a pep talk that was my answer.

It was not rosy or happy or upbeat.
It was not what you generally hear from people who are losing weight.
He said its "forever." 
What i should learn from this is that I can't ever do what I was doing, I can't ever go back to that.
Its one day, 
one week, 
one pound at a time.
Its doing it for the rest of my life so I don't ever end up that miserably overweight again.
It's not "I'm on my diet", 
It's "I'm not that person anymore."
I have been back on the plan since I left weigh-in!
I am struggling a bit but I feel better already. All that junk food was making me feel sluggish and yucky...
that is such a mystery to me, that I crave things I know will make me feel "blah"
I am making plans to get to my meeting every week from now on, lining up babysitters.
I am keeping good food in the house and planning ahead.
I'm watching biggest loser...motivation.... I love Bob.
I'm mowing the grass again (which is so so much easier than this time last year!)
I'm praying about this like  I did when I first began.

My first week I only lost 1.6, 
I was very disappointed... but I didn't give in and give up like I so often do.
and the next week I lost 4 pounds, and look how far I've come! 
Little by little, for the rest of my life I will do this.
I'm beginning again,  
I'm going back to the person I was when I started this so that.....
 I never go back to the person I was when I started this.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Stop and smell the Transmission Fluid.

My car broke down yesterday... maybe a quarter mile from my house.
But I live on a very busy street so there was nothing to do but sit with three whiny kids and wait for my Knight in shining Cadillac to come... my Daddy. 
He is my go to guy. 
I can always count on him.
And I love how he loves to save my day.
Sometimes I think he is just waiting for me or mom or sister to have car trouble, or see a mouse, or spot a huge spider so he can swoop in and rescue us.
And I love that he does it in a luxury car.

I do not love that my car was broke down,
and I have to wrestle three car seats from a minivan into one back seat.... 
where they could unfortunately all touch each other, and steal each others toys.

So my car is done for probably a week or more. And I'm going to be mostly stranded come tomorrow when my mom's "weekend" ends and I have to give the Caddy back.

Tom's car is near breakdown as well, and even if it weren't I'm not sure all our car seats will fit in there.

My washing machine is bleeding to death all over the basement.... 
I'm trying to remain calm and not look down.
Every time I see more oil I just throw an old sheet over it and try to stay in denial.
I am absolutely terrified of the thought of dragging the three of them plus our laundry to a Laundromat. 
I'm not entirely convinced its even possible.

Oh yes, and last but not least.. Weight Watchers What??? 
I have eaten my weight in Chocolate chip cookies in the last three days.
They are calling to me, seeking me out, plotting to sabotage me.
I am so weak.
They are so yummy.


I'm gonna go bury my head in my pillow and pray tomorrow is better and the cookies stop talking to me.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Lighthouse

Where do I begin?
Ok, its Tuesday morning... my house is a mess and so am I... but i am slowly pulling both together.
I was gone from 10am Saturday till 1pm Sunday. 

So.... 27 hours... 
Wow, not much really.
Shockingly that is all it took for me to get out of "mommy mode".
Even to the point where it is hard for me to get back at the house work at full force, even today I'm still being a bit lazy.

Kristin picked me up and we hit the road. The kids were actually very calm about me leaving, only Tommy protested... "mommy no go, mommy." he said as he tried to pull me away from the door... he almost cried but then I told him he needed to watch Daddy for me and he immediately brightened up and started to take his job seriously... three hours, and lots of good conversation later, and we were at a a Subway by our hotel...
Then came the wedding. It was beautiful and simple. The church was old, beautifully detailed, and perfect. 

Then we had an hour to kill between the church and the reception.
Enter Todd... Todd is the only person Kristin knew at this wedding besides the bride and groom.
This is Todd...
he said he was going to find a lighthouse...
we said cool and we invited ourselves.
Some interesting facts about Todd:
He said i could blog about him :) so I am
He had two loaves of white bread in his car. weird.
He (obviously) has red hair.. which makes him automatically cool.
He is a nurse... in a Pediatric ICU... I am in awe.
He took off his shoes at some point to "experience the same thing" we were... 
we had our heels off... and it was not warm.
 But it was fun.

We found a girl's drivers license laying on the path leading up to the rocks and started speculating that she had been murdered and the killer was just very sloppy about covering his tracks...
Thank God that was not the case, she was alive and well a little further down the path.
You should have seen her face when I said her name!
It was like she expected hidden camera's or something... too funny.

more randomness from our walk to the lighthouse...
a cool little tree.
It was fun trying to climb over there in a dress... let me tell you.
Very worth it for these cute pictures... and no we didn't plan to match, we are just awesome like that.

And the actual lighthouse
notice Todd has no shoes :)

Fun times, old friends and new, and now I'm off to the playground because Tommy is hanging on my saying "mama we go, mama we go?" .....
Its good to be home...
I think :)